From Dante's Twisted Fairytales: Sleeping Beauty
by PolyginalWarrior
Summary: To put Wrath to sleep, Sloth reads from a strange book called Dante's Twisted Fairytales. This time, it's The Little Mermaid. Wrath still won't sleep! Sloth decides to read Cinderella next. Sloth reads Sleeping Beauty as a last resort. Rated T.
1. The Introduction: Wrath Won't Sleep!

Getting ready for my next story, this is now another parody. Until I get more ideas for my own original idea, I'll write this. I'll get the disclaimers out of the way first. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and I don't own the Little Mermaid. All songs are copyright their respective writers.

It was night and a hush had fallen over the woods just outside Dublith. The birds were no longer chirping as they settled down for the night, the squirrels and other fuzzy woodland creatures nestled in their burrows. All was quiet and all was calm…as long as you didn't stray too close to Dante's mansion. A noise that wasn't to be believed was issuing from the large building, sending any small animals that happened to be nearby running. The noise echoed throughout the mansion causing discomfort, annoyance, and downright anger in most cases. The disturbance was in the form of Wrath. He was all wound up, as he usually is, and was jumping around his room yelling and hollering and playing some obscure game that only he knew the rules, or objective, too. Normally the other homunculi and Dante would just ignore him, but he'd been going on for five straight hours and everyone was just about fed up. Finally, as Wrath knocked over his dresser, tempers snapped.

"That's it! I can't stand it anymore!" Envy screamed, tugging at his long hair. "If that kid doesn't shut the hell up I'm going to tear him apart myself!"

Lust, who was sitting nearby, legs crossed one foot tapping incessantly, her hair looking slightly frizzed, said, "Envy you're not making this better by yelling yourself, so do us all a favor and shut up."

Envy turned on Lust and said, "You can't tell me that brat isn't annoying you too I can see it!"

"Of course he's annoying me!" Lust yelled out, her voice unusually high. "But the only thing worse than his high pitched giggle is your gravelly whining!"

"Gravelly?!?!? How dare you talk about me like that?"

"I'll talk to you anyway I want too Palm Tree!"

"Oh isn't that original! I've only heard Greed call me that about a thousand times you big tittied slut!"

Before Lust could reply with a scathing remark, Dante appeared in the drawing room and said, "I've sent Sloth to shut him up, so if you'd both kindly shut up, I'd be grateful."

She left, leaving Lust and Envy feeling slightly sheepish and a tiny bit cowed.

Sloth didn't waste any time in getting to Wrath's room. She opened the door and grabbed Wrath's foot as he went jumping by. She tossed him playfully onto his bed and said, "It's time for bed dear."

"I'm not tired! I don't want to sleep!" Wrath protested, getting ready to jump up again.

Sloth sat down next to him and held up a book. "How would you like me to read you a story?"

"Oooh! What's it about?"

Sloth, to tell the truth, had no idea. She'd just picked a book out of the library at random. Considering most of Dante's books were about alchemy, Sloth looks down at the title with some trepidation. She cocked an eyebrow as she read the title.

'Dante's Twisted Fairy Tales?' she thought to herself.

"Well? What's it about!" Wrath yelled.

"It's a book of fairy tales." Sloth explained. "Stories that paint a wondrous picture of a fantasy world unlike our own, one where magic exists and happy endings reign."

"BORING!" Wrath yelled out, jumping up again. "Boring, boring, boring, boring!"

Sloth grabbed him again and forced him back to the bed, less playfully this time. "How about you give it a chance before you call it boring?"

Wrath whined a little, but crawled mournfully under the covers and waited for the story. Sloth grabbed a nearby chair and opened the book. She was startled as she read the names of the characters in these stories. She saw Envy's name, Edward's name, Hughes' name, even her own name! She was downright disturbed when she saw a hand drawn picture of Scar in a dress with a caption that read, "Poor Scar was left to clean the floors as his wicked step brothers Envy and Greed went to the ball."

"Okay, that's just creepy."

"What's creepy?"

"Nothing!" She quickly turned the page before her "son" was scarred by the horrific imagery. Obviously Dante had taken the old fairy tales and replaced the characters with people from real life. That woman had too much time on her hands…Nevertheless; Sloth turned to a promising looking story entitled The Little Mermaid. She quickly flipped through a few pages to be absolutely sure there were no pictures of men in drag. Luckily, this story was clean. She cleared her throat and began to tell the story.

Just outside the door, Envy had a glass pressed against the door to hear what was going on in Wrath's room. Whatever had shut him up must be worth listening too…

"What are you doing?" a sardonic voice asked him.

Envy jumped and turned around, his surprise turning to anger when he saw Greed standing behind him.

"What I'm doing is none of your damn business!" Envy snarled.

Greed smirked and said, "I knew you were a creepy cross dresser Palm Tree, but I didn't know you liked to spy on little kids. My, what strange things you get your kicks from."

Envy pelted the glass at Greed which shattered on his head. "If I was spying on him why would I be using a glass?!?!?!?"

"Keep it down! Wrath is finally quiet and I just put Gluttony to bed!" Lust said, leaving Gluttony's room.

"He started it!" Envy said, pointing at Greed.

Greed held up his hands in defense and said, "Hey, whatever. I was on my way out anyway."

He slipped his shades on and turned to go to his room. As soon as his door was closed, Envy crouched back down and held up a spare glass to the door, listening again. Lust rolled her eyes and was about to go back downstairs when Envy said, "Hey, I think she's talking about that blonde girl."

Lust stopped and turned her head back to look at Envy. "What?"

"You know, what's her name…" He listened a little bit and said, "Winry that was it."

Lust's eyes narrowed. Oh, she remembered Winry all right. That disgusting little brat that had ruined all her pictures…her secret closet pictures…

"Let me hear." Lust said pushing Envy over and stealing the glass.

"Hey! This was my idea!" He said angrily.

"Shhh! I think she's telling a story." Lust said.

Envy pulled out a third glass and pressed it against the door, sniggering.

"A story about Winry? This should be good…"

That's the first chapter, short but it is just setting up the story after all. Please review and don't bother flaming, because I just ignore them.


	2. A Celebration: Interrupted!

I'll get to the actual story now that the introduction is out of the way.

Sloth, hearing the muted noises coming from outside Wrath's room, cleared her throat loudly and began to read the story.

It was a dark and still night on the ocean, and a single ship was slowly moving along the surface of the water. The crewmen were working hard to make sure the ship and its many crew members wouldn't sink. There was a special occasion on the ship, a party for the Prince of the nearby kingdom. Little did they know that another party was getting underway, deep beneath them in the calm depths of the ocean. There were many denizens of the sea from the lowliest shrimp to the most majestic whale, and all were commanded by the kind ruler of the seas who had three daughters (Okay, I know in the Disney version he has seven or so daughters, but half of them hardly say anything, so I'm stripping it down to three. That's two to sing and one to be the title character. Just so we're clear.). He was proud of each and everyone one, but held special pride in his youngest. She had the brightest voice, the most cheerful expression and the most crowd pleasing charisma. All the merfolk the sea over were flocking to the palace, a place they rarely got to visit, to watch a concert set up by the king's most trusted advisor, a fact that caused many raised eyebrows as he was somewhat inept. Everyone took their seats in the concert hall and whispered among themselves as the lights dimmed and Danny Brosh appeared, holding a sheet of music and a baton. He was a pretty meek guy, since he was only a crab,

"PFHHH!" Envy said, stifling his laughter.

Lust elbowed him angrily and he stopped laughing. Sloth glared at the door momentarily then continued reading. Wrath glanced at the door as well, wondering what his "mother" had been looking at.

He was a pretty meek guy, since he was only a crab, and was desperate to please the sea king so that people would no longer consider him a hazard. He had worked many sleepless nights to put together this concert, getting help from the kings youngest, and he was sure it would impress.

"Okay Brosh," he thought to himself. "Don't blow it!"

He tapped the baton against the music stand and raised it into the air. The musicians readied their instruments and started to play as Brosh conducted. Three large clams were onstage and as soon as the music began, two opened. Two of the mermaid daughters floated out and began to sing.

"Aaah! We are the daughter of Maes Hughes, great father who loves us and named us well."

At this point the one with brown hair sang, "Sheska!"

And the one with darker skin and black hair sang, "Paninya!"

They both swam over to the large clam in the middle and opened it while they continued to sing, "And then there's the youngest in her musical debut! Our third little sister we're presenting her to you to sing a song that Brosh composed, her voice is like a bell! She's our sister…Huh?!?!?"

They both stopped singing as the third clam opened, empty. Brosh spun around and felt his blood run cold.

"Oh no not again!"

He looked up at the balcony where Hughes the sea king was seated and was dismayed to see the anger with which he was staring at him.

"Why me?"

Far and away, on the outskirts of the kingdom, Hughes' youngest daughter, Winry, was swimming to an old sunken ship to salvage whatever she could find. She was accompanied by her best friend, Al, who was also a flounder. He was a gentle soul, and couldn't put up much a fight when it came to being attacked by octopuses or sharks, but he was sympathetic to Winry's obsessions.

"I hope there are some more intact things from the surface in there!" She said excitedly, collecting back slung over her shoulder.

"Don't worry, there is. While you were stuck inside the palace, I snuck in here and looked around. We should hurry though." Al said.

"Oh, don't worry. Dad won't mind if I miss one little concert."

"You do know how overprotective he is don't you?" Al said incredulously.

Winry brushed this comment off as the wreck of a ship loomed in their view.

"There it is! Come on Al lets go!"

They swam as quickly as they could towards the ship, unaware of a dark shape circling the area. Winry looked around for a place to enter and managed to find a sizable chunk was missing from the right side. They both swam inside and began looking around for things from the surface. Winy managed to find a music box with a dancing ballerina, a fork, and a smoking pipe. Al, having a hard time picking objects up, was staring out a window situated in the back of the ship, when a dark shadow passed by. Getting nervous, he turned to Winry and said, "Winry? I think we'd better go."

Winry glanced at Al, noted the scared look on his face and said, "Just a little longer. Please?"

"Alright…" Al said reluctantly. He turned back to the window and was shocked to see a small black object swimming toward them at a fast pace. He got closer to the window to examine it and was thrown back as a massive shark broke through the glass and started snapping wildly at him. Both Al and Winry screamed as the monster fought to get inside the ship. Winry grabbed her bag and swam back through the hole, Al right beside her. They had just escaped when the shark broke through the window fully and rammed into the opposite wall of the ship. This gave Winry and Al a head start to escape it, but the shark was fast and was soon closing in on them. Winry looked wildly around for a way to escape and spotted a long length of chain with massive links. They were big enough for her to swim through, but the shark would have a tough time…

She grabbed Al and veered off course, slipping in and out through the chains, the shark snapping at the places where she had just left. This game of cat and mouse went on for quite awhile before Winry finally outsmarted the beast and it got itself stuck in the chains. They both breathed a sigh of relief as the shark snapped and swam furiously trying to free itself.

"Let's go take this stuff to Feury and find out what it does!" Winry said, heading towards Feury's rock. Feury, being a seagull, lived around humans and was more knowledgeable about their ways. Winry took his word as gospel, having never experienced anything close to humans. Her father was constantly forbidding her to go to the surface for fear a fisherman would see her and try to catch her. Winry couldn't be contained, however, and was constantly looking around for different artifacts that humans left behind. She had quite a collection of things stored away in a hidden grotto. If her father ever found out about it, she'd be in terrible trouble. She sighed and turned to Al.

"You know Al, just once I'd like to be able to walk on land and see the things that the humans see."

"Could you do that Winry? Just leave all your family and friends behind to go live on land?"

"Why bother discussing it? It's never going to happen." Winry said sadly.

Al, feeling bad about what he said, said, "Whatever makes you happy Winry, would make me happy."

Winry smiled at him and said, "Thanks Al."

Little did they know, they were being watched by two nasty, slimy, disgusting creatures. Two eels each projecting their vision back to the deadly beautiful sea witch. She passed her hands over her cauldron, drawing the image of Winry and Al out to hover above the cauldron, all the better to watch it.

"So the girl desires to become a human. How interesting…I do believe I've found a way to get my revenge!"

The sea witch laughed evilly to herself as she bit the head off a shrimp, tossing the tail away to get snapped up by an ugly skeletal fish. The witch wiped her hands on a small cloth and let it float away into a nearby cupboard. She then made a few passes over the cauldron, banishing the image of Winry and Al and spoke into the swirling depths.

"Greed! Envy! Come back to the cave so we can discuss my plans!"

The door to Wrath's room was kicked open with a horrible bang. Envy stood, leg up in the air, with Lust crouched under him holding a glass. Envy stepped over her and stalked into the room.

"Why the hell am I an eel?!? Who's the sick moron who wrote that crap?!?"

Sloth calmly turned the page and said, "These are fairy tales Envy. They were written years ago by people now long dead.

"Bullshit they were!" Envy yelled at her. "How could someone who died years ago use my name? Or any one of our names for that matter?"

"If you want to hear the story, just sit down and be quiet." Sloth said.

Envy sat cross legged on the ground. Lust sat down next to him, arms crossed.

"I'll stick around." Envy said. "But only because I want to know who the author is and how much I'm going to make them hurt!"

Sloth smiled and went back to the book. If only Envy knew who had rewritten these stories.

And that's all for now. As always review please. They aren't the deciding factor for whether or not I'll continue, but they are nice mood boosters. Also as always I'll ignore all flames so don't waste energy typing them.


	3. Love At First Sight

Wow, I really appreciate the reviews! Talk about brightening up a dark day! Thank you all so much! Here's the next chapter.

Winry and Al swam as quickly as they could to Fuery's rock to see what the treasures they collected were. It was already morning, her father was probably angry and worried, and the ship carrying the Prince and his friends had long since been put into port. Winry quickly broke the surface, flinging her hair back so it wouldn't hang in front of her eyes, and scanned the horizon for the rock. She found it quick enough and swam towards it. Fuery was sound asleep in his nest, dreaming about who knows what, when he heard a huge splash. He woke with a start and grabbed his telescope, pressing the wrong end against his eye and scanning the horizon. He stopped as he saw Winry and Al, a long distance away.

"Hey Winry! Al! It's good to see you again!" He shouted. "Come on over!"

He pulled down the telescope and was shocked to see Winry and Al right next to the rock.

"Wow that was fast." He said, impressed.

Winry didn't waste any time. She opened her bag and set out the music box, the fork, and the pipe. She looked eagerly at Fuery and said, "Well? What are they?"

Fuery picked up the fork and turned it over. He had absolutely no idea what the fork was, but neither did Winry and he had at least seen humans with the things, so he quickly started explaining it.

"This Winry is obviously a hairstyling tool much like the combs you have in your home. You simply attach the tines into your hair, twist, and viola! Instant perm!"

Winry looked doubtful but shrugged and took it back into her bag. Fuery picked up the pipe next and said, "Oh its been years since I've seen one of these! This is a musical instrument. You put your mouth on the stem like this, and just blow."

He blew, but the thing was stuffed with sardines and made a horrible squelching sound as they were forced out. Winry tried to hide her giggles but was unable too. Fuery didn't take offense, however, and Winry put the pipe back into her bag as Fuery examined the music box.

"This is a music box. Inside there's a little human who turns to the music every time you open it and she keeps dancing until you close it. Watch…"

He opened the box and Winry gasped as she saw the beautiful ballerina inside, slowly turning to the tinkling music box. After watching it for a few minutes Winry sighed and laid her head down on the rock. What she would give to be able to dance like that…

She was broken out of her reverie as Al nudged her and said, "We really should be going back Winry. Your dad's going to be really angry."

Winry smiled and said, "He won't stay mad at me for long. Come on, then. Thanks again Fuery!"

She waved good-bye and he waved back, flying back up into his nest to sleep again. Winry and Al swiftly made their way back to the palace arriving just as the sun peaked at noon. Al stayed behind, at Winry's advice, before Winry entered the throne room. Brosh was there trying to calm Hughes and obviously failing. He stopped talking as soon as he saw Winry. The break in his chatter caused Hughes to look at the entrance to the throne room, and sure enough, his daughter was standing just inside the door, her bag still hanging from one arm. She swam closer as she saw him looking and said, "I'm sorry I'm so late, but…"

He held up a hand and she stopped talking. "Where have you been all this time?"

Winry guiltily pushed the bag behind her back saying, "I was just out exploring…"

He cut her off angrily, "You were at the surface again, weren't you? How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from humans?"

"But Dad, I didn't talk to anyone! I just want to watch!"

"I forbid it! You are too young to know the dangers the humans present! Too many of our kind have been killed or captured by them to be used as food or entertainment! I won't have you suffer the same fate!"

"But Dad…"

"I don't want to hear another word! Just go to your room."

Winry sighed and left the throne room. Hughes sighed and sat back down, rubbing his forehead. He turned to Brosh and said, "Was I too harsh?"

"Not at all! When a child is young you have to be firm or else they'll think they can get away with anything!"

"I'm glad you feel so strongly about that." Hughes said. "From now on, you are going to keep watch over her and make sure she doesn't go associating with humans."

"Exactly, I'll go…wait what?!?!?"

"It's settled then! Thank you for being so understanding Brosh!"

Brosh sputtered for a few minutes, sighed, and turned to leave, head hanging dejectedly.

"Why me?"

Winry, of course, didn't go to her room at all, but decided to visit her grotto. She needed to store the treasures she found, before someone else found them. Her grotto was hidden behind a large boulder that, at first glance, would appear to be unmovable. But all it took was a quick push and it was out of the way. She and Al quickly entered, Brosh cleverly sneaking after them, and closed the way. Brosh's mouth hung open as he saw the many treasures that Winry had hoarded.

"Oh, if Hughes ever found out about this…" he didn't dwell on the idea.

Winry pulled out the pipe and placed it next to a globe, put the fork on a small velvet cushion and a placed the music box on the last empty spot on the shelf. She sighed and said, "I'm running out of room in here."

"I never really noticed before, but we've been doing this for a long time haven't we?" Al said.

"Yeah, but I'd trade it all away for just one day on land."

She sighed again and listlessly turned the globe. She turned to Al and began to sing, "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl who has everything?"

She swam to a higher shelf and indicated the grotto at large, singing, "Look at this trove, treasures untold, how many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you'd think, sure, she got everything."

She swam higher, Al following her, picking up treasures at random, singing, "I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more."

She dropped the watch she was holding and saw a little higher, to her music box, opening it and singing, "I wanna be where the people are. Want to see, want to see them dancing, walking around on those…what do you call them? Oh, feet! Flipping your fins won't get you too far, legs are required for jumping and dancing, strolling around on those…what's that word again? Streets."

She swam up to the small skylight in her grotto, reaching out and singing, "Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun, wandering free, wish I could be, part of that world!"

She slowly let her self float back down, singing, "What would I give if I could live out of these waters? What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand? Betcha on land they don't reprimand their daughters. Bright young women. Sick of swimming, ready to stand! And ready to know, what the people know, ask them questions and get some answers."

She floated over to a picture of a woman in front of a candle and reached out to touch the flame, singing, "What's a fire and why does it…what's the word? Burn? When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore above? Out of the sea, wandering free, part of that world…"

Brosh, tears streaming down his face, thought to himself, 'That's so sad! I can't tell Hughes about this place! It would kill her!'

He quickly exited out a large crack in the wall, unable to stand the emotion in the grotto. Al patted Winry on the back and said, "Someday Winry. Someday."

She smiled at him and pushed the rock away. They'd spent more time in the grotto than she suspected. Night had already fallen and the sea was dark. Suddenly, a burst of light exploded above the surface. Winry stopped and looked up at the flashes of light.

"What was that?"

Al looked up too and said, "I don't know."

"Come on! Let's check it out!"

She swam up towards the surface at a great speed. But Brosh, still lurking nearby, couldn't let this happen! He swam up in front of Winry and said, "Winry, I can't allow you to go to the surface! You know what your father says!"

"I'm not going to get hurt! Stop being such a worry wart!" She pushed him out of the way and continued swimming.

"This is not good!" He said, swimming after her.

Winry broke the surface and looked up into the sky, watching as fireworks exploded into the night. They were beautiful, unlike anything she'd ever seen. Her attention was driven from the fireworks, however, as she saw a massive ship. Little did she know, this was the Prince's ship, out again for the second night of partying, but mainly setting sail to open gifts. The Prince, having just turned eighteen, and being rather small for his age, was standing at the edge of the deck, looking out across the water. His hair, braided, flapped in the breeze. He sighed and looked behind him at all the people on board, people he called his friends yet barely knew. His dog, Den, approached and attempted to comfort him. He smiled and rubbed him as, unknowingly, Winry approached the ship. She caught a glimpse of the Prince and her heart started running faster. She grabbed a net that was hanging on the side of the ship and pulled herself up to look at the deck. She saw many humans all walking, talking, and drinking. She saw a dog and then her eyes fell on him. She was stricken, love at first sight. The sight didn't last long, however, as a man with a cigarette in his mouth blocked him from sight.

"Hey Edward! You've been avoiding me haven't you?"

Ed avoided Havoc's eyes and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that. Your parents appointed me your advisor before they died and you've been hiding from me ever since. So now that I've finally got you cornered, I have one thing to ask you: Have you found a girl to marry yet?"

"What?" Ed yelped in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Yesterday you turned eighteen. That means you have to get married so that you can officially become king. So have you found anyone yet?"

"No, I haven't." Ed said annoyed. "I'm not going to rush through my life just because it would be more convenient for the kingdom. The right girl for me will cross my path someday, and until then I'm not getting married!"

Havoc sighed and said, "Fine." He looked around and said, "The captain says a storms coming. We should open your presents and get back to shore."

Ed groaned and said, "Alright. Let's get it over with."

Winry waited anxiously as Havoc moved aside and she got another glimpse of Ed. She sighed and just stared. Brosh, having claws, was able to climb up next to her. He saw the love struck look in her eyes and groaned. This wasn't good at all!

Havoc, meanwhile, was pushing a huge tarp covered object across the deck. When it was in front of Edward he said, "This is from…" He grabbed a card. "All the women in the kingdom. The hope that this statue is as inspiring for you as it is for them."

He tossed the card away and tore off the tarp. Underneath it was a larger than life size statue of Ed himself. Ed sweatdropped at the sight of it and said, "What the hell is this supposed to be?"

Havoc shrugged. Ed turned back to the statue, tilting his head. He just…didn't know what to think…"

Unfortunately for him, he didn't get time to think, as the storm struck the ship unexpectedly. Winds tore the sails; lightning struck the deck, setting it afire! Everyone screamed and jumped overboard as the ship was steadily consumed. Ed was about to jump over himself, when he saw Den cowering, trapped under a large wooden beam. Ed ran over to him and pushed the beam off, leading Den to the edge where he pushed him off. He jumped in after him and was struck on the head, knocking him unconscious. Winry, seeing Ed was in danger, grabbed him and pulled him up to the surface. They were far away from land and it took Winry all night to drag him back to land. The sun was just rising as she managed to lay him out on the beach. She stared lovingly at him, pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes. His hair had come undone and she stroked it, humming to him. Slowly he woke up and he saw Winry, though blurrily. He could barely see her face and Winry quickly threw herself back into the ocean even though doing so hurt her so much. Ed sat up and held his head. It was throbbing terribly. Nevertheless he forced himself to stand and scan the ocean, sure he would see that beautiful woman again. His search was interrupted by Havoc stumbling toward him, holding his arm on which a long gash was evident. He said, "Ed! Good to see you didn't get hurt."

Ed, not really listening, said, "Havoc, did you see a woman around here?"

Havoc shook his head and said, "If I had I would remember her."

Ed nodded at that. He sighed and turned to Havoc. Maybe she had only been a dream…

"Come on. Let's go."

Winry watched as Ed and Havoc crossed the beach and disappeared behind a large rock outcropping. A tear silently tracked down her face. She closed her eyes and plunged herself back under the water, sailing past Al and towards her room. Al frowned at seeing her so sad and determinedly set out to look for something to cheer her up.

"Okay, that's enough!" Envy said. "This is the most lovesick story I ever heard!"

"No one's forcing you to stay Envy." Lust said.

"Shut up." He said sullenly. "And why does the Fullmetal Pipsqueak get to be human? It's an injustice!"

"Why Envy." Sloth said, turning the page. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous."

"Of a stupid book? You wish."

"Aw, isn't that cute." Greed said, stopping outside the door. "All the kiddies are listening to mommy tell a story."

"We're all characters in this story." Lust said. "Even you."

Greed looked momentarily interested and said, "Really? Is that so?"

"Don't get to excited shark boy." Envy said, tilting his head back to look at Greed. "You're nothing more than a slimy disgusting bastard. An eel in other words."

Greed's mouth dropped open and he moved forward, tearing the book out of Sloth's hands. "I'm a WHAT?!?!?"

"An eel!" Envy said, making a slithering motion with his hand, clearly enjoying this. "An animal that no one in their right minds would want to associate with!"

Greed's hands were shaking as he read over the spot that described his character.

"Who is the dead bastard who wrote this?" He said.

"Sloth's not saying." Lust said.

"Oh, I'll find out!" Greed said, tossing the book back to Sloth and cracking his knuckles. "But first I'm going to find out how badly I'm going to kill them!"

He sat down, shoving Envy over much to his displeasure.

Sloth smiled demurely. This was going to be interesting.

And that's the end of that chapter. Another thanks to those who've been reading and reviewing I hope you keep enjoying!


	4. Destruction of a Dream

Yay, I got more reviews! Thanks so much guys! Here's the next chapter!

Winry had become obsessed with seeing Ed again. She barely knew anything about him beyond the fact that he was adorably small, handsome, and lonely. She watched the beach everyday hoping to catch a glimpse of him. On many of these days she would sing to herself to relieve some of her feelings. Little did she know, Ed frequented the beach as well, only at a different time. An hour after Winry left he'd stare out at the water, maybe throw in a rock or two, hoping to see Winry again. He was even worse off than she was. All he had was a foggy memory. As fate would have it, Ed had escaped from listening to Havoc pressure him into marriage and got to the beach an hour in advance. He stopped dead as he heard a beautiful voice singing, "What would I give to live where you are? What would I pay to stay here beside you? What would I do to see you, smiling at me?"

His eyes frantically scanned the horizon as he tried to see who was singing.

"Where would we walk? Where would we run? If we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me, and I could be, part of your world! I don't know when, I don't know how, but I know something's starting right now, watch and you'll see, some day I'll be, part of your world."

Finally Ed saw a woman in the water by a rock. He saw her turn to look and he knew, even though he couldn't see his face clearly, that she was the one who had saved him. Unfortunately a flock of birds flew in front of him, crashing into the water to grab shallow waters fish. By the time they cleared the girl was gone. Ed cursed and kicked the sand, waiting to see if she'd come back.

Winry didn't go back to the surface. If she was seen by Ed he'd know she was a mermaid, her father would punish her, and Ed himself probably wouldn't want to associate with her. She felt so depressed she didn't know what to do. She floated carelessly through the ocean, unknowingly being watched by the sea witch. She was only glancing into her cauldron every few minutes to see how desperate Winry was becoming before turning back to her cupboard of ingredients. She had learned of Winry's instant infatuation with the prince and knew exactly what kind of potion to brew. Of course, it could be weeks before Winry would be susceptible enough to be manipulated. But she was a patient woman who had waited years for her revenge against the sea king. As long as Greed and Envy kept a lookout she wouldn't miss her chance…

Meanwhile, in a garden near the palace, Brosh was studying a piece of music and directing a group of fish and other aquatic life to specific places around the garden. He nodded, took one more look at the music, rolled it up and saw Winry approaching.

"Okay here she comes!" he said. "Now remember: we have to be cheerful enough to cure her depression but also scare her enough that she'll never want anything to do with the humans! Alright, let's go!"

Winry, hoping to pass by the garden and go to her grotto with her thoughts, was suddenly ambushed by Brosh.

"Hey Winry! Where are you going?"

"What? Oh, I'm just going to my room for awhile."

"I know better than that!" Brosh said. "You're going to that grotto to think about the surface aren't you?"

Winry looked both surprised and worried and said, "How did you know about that?"

"I was following you." He said, not even trying to hide it.

"You're not going to tell my dad are you?" Winry asked, her eyes pleading.

"No…" Brosh said. "But I did prepare a little song and set up an elaborate dance to show you the dangers of the surface."

"Well that's really nice." Winry said. "But I know about the dangers of the surface so I'll be going now."

She started swimming away but Brosh said, "If you don't listen I'm going to tell your father."

Upon hearing this Winry did a one eighty and sat obediently on a rock, waiting for the song. Brosh cleared his throat and motioned to a clump of seaweed. Instantly his entire orchestra appeared and started playing a cheerful tune. Winry sighed and prepared herself for whatever was about to come.

Brosh, after giving the band time to play a few opening notes, began to sing, "The seaweed is always greener, in somebody else's lake. You think about going up there, but that is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you, right here on the ocean floor. Such wonderful things around you, what more are you looking for?"

And much to Winry's chagrin the seaweed clumps all around her exploded in sudden life, fish dancing all over the place. She groaned and hung her head. This was going to take forever!

Not noticing Winry's obvious dislike of the song, being depressed and all, Brosh continued singing, "Under the sea. Under the sea! Darling its better, down where its wetter, take it from me! Up on the shore they walk all day, out in the sun they slave away! While were devotin full time to floatin under the sea! Down her all the fish are happy as off through the waves they roll. The fish on the land aren't happy! They're sad because they're in the bowl! But the fish in the bowl is lucky; they're in for a worse fate! One day when the boss gets hungry, guess who's going to be on the plate?"

This was, of course, absurd to Winry as no human was going to fry up a creature that was half human! But the song sounded like it would be over soon, so she just sat quietly, thinking about Ed and Brosh continued to sing, "Under the sea. Under the sea! Nobody beats us, fry's us and eats us, like fricassee! We're what the land folk love to cook, under the sea we're of the hook! We've got no troubles; life is the bubbles under the sea. Under the sea! Since life is sweet here, we've got the beat here, naturally! Even the sturgeon and the ray, get the urge to start and play! We've got the spirit; you've got to hear it, under the sea!"

Winry could tell they were getting ready for a big finish, so she looked around, hands tapping her fin, waiting, and waiting.

Brosh was really getting into it now, pointing at each individual member of the band and singing, "The newt plays the flute, the carp plays the harp, the plaice plays the bass, and they're sounding sharp, the bass plays the brass, the chub plays the tub, the fluke is the duke of soul! The ray he can play, the lings on the strings, the trout's rocking out, the blackfish she sings! The smat and the sprat they know where it's at and oh, that blowfish, blows!"

Winry felt a fin on her shoulder and looked behind her. Al whispered, "Can you get away?"

Winry whispered back, "With pleasure!"

Winry and Al swam away while Brosh finished, singing, "Under the sea. Under the sea! When the sardine begin to beguine its music to me! What have they got a lot of sand? We've got a hot crustacean band! Each little clam here, knows how to jam here, under the sea! Each little slug here, cutting a rug here, under the sea! Each little snail here, knows how to wail here, that's why it's hotter, under the water, yeah, we're in luck here, down in the muck here under the sea!"

The band struck its last note and Brosh stopped singing, breathing heavily.

"Well Winry? Do you understand now? Winry?" he looked around and saw that Winry had left. He hung his head, tears streaming down his face as he said, "Why me?"

Not wanting to lose her, he swam as fast as he could towards Winry's grotto. Once there, he managed to squeeze in and gasped at what he saw. Winry was admiring a huge statue of a human! And what was worse, she had a love struck look on her face!

"Al, where did you find this?" she asked happily.

"It was near a shipwreck. I got some help from some other fish and moved it here for you. Do you like it?"

"Of course I do! I love it!" She hugged Al and gave him a kiss on the head.

She swam over to the statue's face and said, "It looks just like him! I wish I could meet him!"

Brosh quickly backed out and began a mad swim over to the palace. It was much worse than he had originally thought! Winry was in love with a human! He had to tell Hughes! Of course, as soon as he got to the throne room he lost his nerve. If he told Hughes about this, Winry's heart would be broken! But what if she got hurt because of this? Hughes wouldn't forgive him! Finally, he decided to play it by ear and swam towards the throne. Hughes saw him coming and smiled.

"Hey Brosh! How goes the daughter watching?"

"Uh…good! Even better, it's going great! Nothing to worry about your majesty!"

"Oh really?" Hughes said a gleam in his eye. "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

Brosh started to sweat. "Notice what your majesty?"

"Notice Winry disappearing for hours on end, always coming home with a love struck look in her eye! She's found someone hasn't she?"

Brosh instantly broke down. He flung himself on the ground before Hughes and said, "It's true! I don't know how it happened, but she's fallen in love with a human!"

Hughes, thinking Winry had found one of her one kind to love, was furious. He grabbed Brosh, brought him to his face and said, "She's WHAT?!?!?"

Brosh laughed nervously and said, "Uh…ehehe…I've got some explaining to do…"

Brosh had no choice but to lead Hughes, trident in hand, to the grotto where Winry was mooning over the statue. Hughes roughly shoved the boulder aside and gaped at all the human trash Winry had accumulated. He approached Winry, thunder in his expression.

"What is the meaning of this?" He yelled at her.

Winry jumped and looked guiltily at her father. "Dad? What are you doing here?"

"How many times have I told you? Didn't I expressly forbid you having anything to do with humans?"

"But Dad, I…"

"And here I find you, collecting their trash and fraternizing with statuary!"

"Dad, I love him!" Winry clapped her hands to her mouth, shocked at her own daring.

Hughes was struck dumb. Hearing such an accusation from his daughter was the last straw. He raised the trident and began blasting everything in sight, destroying countless years of collecting, turning Winry's possessions into dust. Finally, only the statue remained. Winry begged him not to destroy it, but he did it all the same. Once the smoke cleared, the only thing left was the statue's head. Winry looked at it in disbelief. With tears in her eyes she muttered, "How could you?"

Turning her back on her father, she swam away, heading to the undersea garden to mourn her losses and reflect on her miserable existence.

"Oh, that's hilarious!" Envy said, laughing his head off.

"Who would've thought a fairy tale would be so violent?" Greed said, obviously entertained.

"Boom, boom, boom!" Wrath said, laughing with Envy and Greed.

"You three are sick." Lust said, disgusted.

"Don't be such a prude, Lust." Envy said, sneering at Lust.

She ignored him as Sloth turned to the next chapter.

And that's all for now. I'll have the next chapter up soon, so enjoy!


	5. Poor Unfortunate Souls

I'm going to keep on rolling with the next part now. Thanks for all your reviews of course!

Winry laid on a rock in the garden, crying her eyes out as her whole world was shattered in an instant. She was angry at her father for doing this, she was angry at Brosh for telling her father, and she was angry with herself for letting him do it. Even now, in her moment of utmost misery, she was being watched.

"Look at her! What a whiny little bitch!"

Winry's head snapped from its prone position on the rock and she looked around for the jerk who called her that. Watching her from above were two eels.

"What's it to you?" Winry snapped at them. "I've just had my life ruined, so if you don't mind, leave me alone!"

"That's not very nice." The other eel said. "Especially when we're here to help."

Winry slowly looked up again and said, "Help?"

The eels quickly made their move and swam closer to Winry.

"We know all about your problems. Lover boy on land, stubborn father in the ocean, and you in the middle with no place to go."

"But you said you could help me?" Winry asked hopefully.

"Sorry, but we can't do anything." The other eel said. "Too bad, if only there was something we could do."

"But wait!" The first eel said. "We could take her to see…her."

"Her?" Winry asked.

"Our master, Dante the sea witch."

"Sea witch? What can she do?"

"If you don't cross her, she can make all your dreams come true."

"Pfh!" Envy said. "Make your dreams come true my ass!"

"Envy enough of your mouth!" Sloth said. "There is a child present!"

Envy muttered something, probably something profane, but it was too quiet for Sloth to hear, so she turned back to the book."

Winry thought about what the eels had said. She looked back towards the palace and felt anger replace her unease. She turned to the eels and said, "Show me."

The two eels turned and began to lead Winry towards Dante's lair. Halfway there, in the darker depths of the ocean, Al and Brosh saw Winry following the eels. They quickly swam up to her and Al said, "Winry what are you doing?"

"I'm going to see Dante." She said, not looking at them.

"Dante?!?" Brosh exclaimed. "You can't see her! She's evil!"

The first eel swung around and said, "Buzz off crab! She's made her choice!"

Before Brosh could say anything else, the eel slapped him with his tail sending him flying away. Al quickly swam after him. Winry and the eels continued on coming to a giant skeleton that belonged to the once great leviathan. Winry started feeling uneasy again as they entered the maw of the monster and followed a short hallway down its throat. Winry glanced down and saw hundreds of polyps with twisted human expressions on their faces watching her. She quickly looked away and didn't look down again until they had entered Dante's chambers. In the middle of the large room was a cauldron, the top currently closed. Red seaweed hung in front of the entrance, like a curtain and a large cupboard, also closed, was attached to the ceiling. Winry swam inside, the eels disappeared into the shadows, and Dante appeared out of the shadows. Winry was surprised at her appearance. At first she thought Dante was wearing a tight fitting black evening gown, but upon closer inspection Winry saw it was in fact part of her body. Instead of a fish's tail Dante had the tentacles of an octopus. Yet, it was elegant in its way and Winry found herself speechless.

"Are you Dante?" She asked.

"Of course I am my dear." Dante said, a smile on her face. "And I know why you've come here."

"You do?"

"Well of course. Envy and Greed told me all about your little dilemma." She turned to a nearby vanity and looked at herself in the mirror, pushing her hair back and sorting little doodads on to of it.

"And you can help me?" Winry asked again.

"Yes, but it won't be easy. You see, the only way to get what you want, is to become a human yourself."

Winry gasped in surprise at this. "Can you do that?"

Dante smiled as she heard Winry say this. Her plan was already working. She turned to Winry and said, "My dear, sweet child, that's what I do. It's what I live for: to help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself. Poor souls with no one left to turn to."

She approached Winry and started singing, "I admit that in the past I was a nasty. They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch. But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways, repented, seen the light, and made a switch. True? Yes."

She passed her hand over the cauldron and it sprang open releasing a pink glow. Envy and Greed came out of the shadows to watch as Dante kept singing, "And I fortunately know a little magic. It's a talent that I always have possessed. And lady please don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely and depressed."

She made motions over the cauldron again and two figures appeared inside, a woman who was morbidly obese and a man who extremely skinny and unattractive. Dante sneered at them, turned to her eels and said, "Pathetic."

She smiled and turned back to Winry singing, "Poor unfortunate souls! In pain, in need. This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl and do I help them? Yes indeed."

She snapped her fingers and the figures changed each getting their wishes. Winry looked on in awe. Dante continued singing, "Poor unfortunate souls! So sad, so true. They came flocking to my cauldron crying, 'Spells, Dante please!' and I help them! Yes I do."

Dante looked into the cauldron and continued singing, "Now its happened once or twice. Someone couldn't pay the price, and I'm afraid I had to rake 'em cross the coals."

Dante made a fist and the two figures in the cauldron dwindled into soulless polyps. Dante appeared to look sad and continued singing, "Yes, I've had the odd complaint, but on the whole I've been a saint! To those poor unfortunate souls!"

She turned to Winry and motioned her closer saying, "I can mix you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. If you can get your true loves kiss before the sunset of the third day, you will remain a human permanently. But if you fail, you'll transform back into a mermaid and you will belong to me! Have we got a deal?"

Winry thought about it. On the one hand, if she became a human she'd be able to be with Edward. But on the other hand…

She said, "If I become a human, I'll never see my father or sisters again."

Dante smiled and said, "But you'll have your man. Life's full of tough choices isn't it?" She laughed quietly, then said, "Oh! There is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment."

Winry looked shocked. "But I don't have…"

Dante interrupted, getting extremely close to Winry and said, "I'm not asking for much, just a token, really, a trifle! What I want from you is…your voice!"

Winry grabbed her throat and said, "But without my voice, how will I…"

Dante interrupted her, "You'll have your looks! Your pretty face! And don't underestimate the importance of body language! Hah! The men up there don't like a lot of blabber! They think a girl who gossips is a bore! Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word, and after all dear what is idle prattle for?"

Dante flung open her cupboard and began tossing bottles over her shoulders into the cauldron each one exploding in a flash of blue light.

"Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation! True gentlemen avoid it when they can! Yet they dote and swoon and fawn over a lady who's withdrawn! It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man!"

Dante swam back down to the cauldron and tossed another bottle in, causing the cauldron to erupt in yellow light.

"Come on you poor unfortunate soul! Go ahead! Make your choice! I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day, it won't cost much! Just your voice!"

She grabbed a passing jellyfish and threw it into the cauldron causing an explosion of green light.

"You poor unfortunate soul! It's sad, but true! If you want to cross the bridge my sweet, you have to pay the toll!"

A contract appeared before Winry with a pen. She looked at it apprehensively as Dante said, "Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll! Envy, Greed, I've got her now boys! The boss is on a roll! With this poor unfortunate soul!"

Winry grabbed the pen and quickly signed it, not letting any second thoughts enter her mind. The scroll rolled up and flew to Dante who grabbed it and made it disappear. She grinned at Winry over the green vapor rising from her cauldron. She moved her hands over the liquid and began to recite an incantation, "Beluga, sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea! Larynxes, glaucitis, et max laryngitis, la voce to me!"

Two ghostly hands rose out of the cauldron and moved towards Winry. Dante grabbed a nearby nautilus shell and said, "Now sing!"

Winry began to sing a syllable over her entire vocal range. The hands reached forward until they were inches from her lips. Winry tried to keep singing over a rising lump in her throat but started coughing. Dante saw this and yelled, "Keep singing!"

Winry thought of Ed and pushed past the lump to keep singing. She suddenly felt something shoot out of her mouth and into the hands. It was a small glowing orb, her voice issuing out. She tried to talk, but no sound came out. She watched as the hands moved backwards with her voice, until they disappeared into the nautilus shell. As soon as her voice was in Dante's possession, Winry's fin was shot with a fiery pain, her fins splitting into two legs, her ability to breathe underwater disappearing, her lungs filling with water. At this time Brosh and Al appeared, Al having saved Brosh from getting impaled on a rock.

"Oh crap!" Brosh said. "She's already made a deal with her! Come on, we have to get her to the surface!"

Al didn't ask questions. They both grabbed Winry and pulled her to the surface, Dante's laughs ringing in their ears. Dante turned to Envy and Greed and said, "Make sure she fails."

The two eels slithered out of Dante's lair as Dante herself put the nautilus on a shelf in her cupboard next to a bright red stone, almost entirely broken down, and several jars with women's names on them. She labeled the shell with Winry's name and moved back to her cauldron, watching Winry.

"What an idiot." Greed said. "She's trusting Dante of all people."

"But she is in love." Lust said. "That can make you do crazy things."

"What a useless emotion!" Envy said. "All it does it get you killed!"

"What are you all doing in Wrath's room?" A voice said from the doorway.

Everyone turned to see Pride, arms crossed, watching them.

"I was telling a story to Wrath and everyone wanted to hear." Sloth said.

"I'm just waiting to see who wrote the damn book!" Envy said. "So I can kill him!"

"The same goes for me." Greed said.

"I'm just here for the entertainment." Lust said.

Pride saw the title of the book and said, "Oh, so you found that book eh?"

Envy was instantly on his feet. "Do you know who wrote that book?"

"Of course I do. It's just been a long time since I've seen it."

"Who?!?!? Who wrote it?!?!?" Envy snarled.

Pride looked over at Sloth who slowly shook her head. Everyone was too busy watching Envy and Pride to notice it. Pride turned to Envy and said, "I don't think I'll tell you."

"WHAT?!?!?!" Envy took a few steps back and attempted to tackle Pride, but he sat down and Envy sailed over his head.

"But I will listen to the rest of the story." He said.

Envy came back into the room, rubbing his head. He sat down, in an even worse mood than he had been in. The wall outside Wrath's room had a huge dent in it.

Okay, that's it for now again. If I keep this up, I'll have the next part ready by tomorrow.


	6. The First Day

Onward to the next part! Oh, before that, lest I forget, thank you so much for the reviews! Okay, now let us go! And never look back!

Winry felt like her lungs were going to explode! Never in her life did she feel so miserable, so afraid for her own life as now. Then it was like being born again as Winry broke the surface and gulped down lungful after precious lungful of wonderfully cool morning air. She coughed a few times and fainted.

"What happened to her?" Al asked as they pulled Winry to shore next to a huge rock. It was shallow and Al finally got a full glimpse of Winry, legs and all.

"She made a deal with Dante the sea witch! She must've given something up in exchange for being changed into a human, and knowing Dante there's a time limit and awful, awful consequences for Winry if she doesn't keep her end of the deal!" Brosh said, the tears streaming down his face yet again. "Why me?"

"Well, what are the conditions of the contract?" Al asked.

Brosh pulled himself together and said, "Obviously she wanted to turn into a human to be with that guy she saw on the boat. She must have to get him to fall in love with her."

"Okay, she can do that." Al said. "Now, how much time does she have?"

"Dante likes doesn't like to give a lot of time for this kind of thing, so it'll be short." Brosh said thinking. "Anywhere from one to six days, at most I'd say."

Before they could discuss any further Winry woke up and shook her head. Instantly Brosh went to her and said, "How long did Dante give you?"

Winry looked confused at first, but she quickly gained her bearings and held up three fingers.

"Why isn't she saying anything?" Al asked.

"She must've given her voice to Dante!" Brosh whispered back.

"This is going to be harder than I thought…" Al said.

Meanwhile, Winry was trying to get used to her new legs. Unfortunately, as soon as she stood up she splashed back down, her legs bending outward. Once again unfortunately, her bra was swept away in the tide. Winry quickly covered her chest looking chastised. Before Brosh or Al could find anything to cover her with, however, Fuery came flying in carrying a sail.

"Hey guys! I was passing by picking this thing up from a shipwreck when I saw you and thought I'd say hi!" he said cheerfully.

"Give me that!" Brosh said grabbing the sail and giving it to Winry. She quickly tied it around herself and stood up again, this time grabbing onto the rock for support.

"Wow, what happened to her?" Fuery asked, surprised to see Winry's legs.

"She made a deal with the sea witch!" Brosh said.

"Really? Why would she do something like that?"

"She fell in love with a human and gave Dante her voice so she could become a human! And now she only has three days to get him to kiss her or she'll lose her soul to Dante!"

Winry wasn't listening to any of this. She removed her hands from the rock and tried taking a few steps. But it was no good. No matter how hard she tried, her legs still wanted to move together like a fin! She was about to get frustrated when she saw Ed walking down the beach, looking out towards the horizon. She froze as she him, her heart fluttering. Brosh saw her looking and said, "Go on! Talk to him!" and pushed her forward. Unfortunately, Winry lost her balance and splashed into the water. Ed, hearing the noise, looked over to where she was lying and quickly came over. He helped her out of the water and said, "What happened to you? Were you in a shipwreck?"

Thinking fast, Winry quickly nodded, grabbing onto Ed for support. Ed smiled and said, "You can't walk very well can you? Were you hurt?"

Winry shook her head and Ed smiled. "That's good."

They stared at each other for a few minutes then Ed said, "You know, you look really familiar. Do I know you?"

Winry nodded emphatically. Here it was! The moment of truth! She'd kiss Ed and be with him forever! Ed was starting to look excited too as he pulled the memory to the front of his mind. "You saved me when my ship was wrecked! I remember you! What's your name?"

Alas, no matter how Winry tried she couldn't speak her name. Her face fell and she rubbed her throat absently. Ed looked disappointed as well as he said, "You can't talk? Then you can't be her. I heard her singing in the most beautiful voice."

He sighed and looked out toward the ocean. Winry got a look of determination on her face and pulled on Ed's sleeves. He quickly looked back at her and said, "Well, I can't leave you out here by yourself. I'll take you back up to the palace, get you some real clothes and you can spend the night. How does that sound?"

Winry smiled happily and nodded. Even though Ed knew this wasn't his dream girl, he still felt a connection with her and couldn't help but smile back. He grabbed her arms and helped her to walk to the palace.

"There she goes…" Al said, sounding slightly sad.

"But without her voice will he ever fall in love with her?" Fuery asked.

"If it's true love, he'll love her no matter what!" Brosh said confidently.

"Really?" Fuery said. "And how many relationships have you been in?"

"Well…none…" Brosh said, sounding depressed again.

Al broke up the little fight and said, "Come on! We have to follow her!"

Fuery took to the sky, ready to help in any way he could. Al and Brosh quickly began looking for a way to get nearer to the palace. It was getting close to lunch again and Ed showed Winry to the guest room. Winry was amazed by the richness of it from the huge canopy bed to the wall length window.

"There's a shower through that door over there." Ed said, pointing out the door. "We'll be eating in about twenty minutes to don't be too long."

Winry shook her head and opened the bathroom door as Ed closed the bedroom door. Winry was delighted by the sparkling white walls, the deep tub, and marble sink. She was slightly confused by a porcelain chair of some sort with water in it, but she supposed she'd figure that out eventually. She turned one of handles on the tub and was slightly surprised when cold water came gushing out. She quickly turned it off and turned the other handle. She was ready this time for the jet of water but it was hot instead of cold! She turned them both at the same time and the tub started to fill. Once it was about three quarters full she turned them both off and felt the water. It was pleasantly warm with steam wafting off of it. She quickly took of her sail and tossed it behind her, right into the hands of a maid.

"I'll just take this for you then alright?" the maid said.

Winry jumped, not knowing anyone had been behind her. She tried to cover herself but the maid laughed and said, "There's nothing there I haven't seen before, you don't need to be so modest."

The maid folded the sail and said, "My name is Pinako by the way. I've been working here for nearly fifty years and I know my way around this place, so if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask."

Winry smiled and nodded.

"Don't talk much do you dear?" Pinako asked.

Winry shook her head and grabbed her throat.

"Oh, you can't talk can you? Well that's alright too. No one here should have any trouble talking to you. Now hurry up and take your bath while I throw this old thing out. I'll see if we have any dresses for you to where."

Pinako took the crusty, salty sail and left Winry to take her bath. Winry was ecstatic about it. Even though she'd lived her entire life in the ocean, she had never done anything like this! The tub was full of hot scented water, bubbles were floating along the top; it was all so relaxing! As Winry was enjoying her bath, Brosh and Al had managed to get close to the palace through a canal. Al couldn't go any further so Brosh made his way into the castle garden. Moving fast to avoid detection he saw an open window and began to climb the ivy covered wall. He quickly made his way into the open window and tumbled down onto a wooden table.

"Okay, now to find…oh dear Lord!!!!!"

All around him was fish with their heads cut off, pots of boiling water, and stuffed crabs! He nearly fainted as he saw all of this. Before he could move he heard a door open and voices came wafting through.

"Hey Barry! Are you in here?" Pinako asked.

A knife came flying through the air and embedded itself in the door just beside Pinako's head.

"Dammit woman! What have I told you about coming in here?"

Pinkao picked up the knife and threw it back at Barry screaming, "I've told you a thousand times I've got every right to be in here as you do you psycho!"

"What?!? Psycho?!?! No one calls Barry the Chopper a psycho!"

Pinako slammed the door as ten more knives came flying at her.

Out in the dining room, Havoc had, of course, heard about the woman staying with them and was needling Ed once again.

"I mean, you can't keep searching for someone who doesn't even exist!" He said.

"I know she exists!" Ed said angrily. "And I'll prove it once I find her! Where ever she is…"

"All I'm saying is you've got a perfect girl here already. It doesn't do anyone any good to keep fawning over a girl who doesn't even exist. Believe me, I've been down that road before…"

Before Ed could say anything in reply, Pinako's voice came from outside the dining room.

"Oh for heavens sake, don't be nervous."

Havoc and Ed both looked as Winry walked in wearing a beautiful pink dress, her hair pulled back with a bow of the same color. Winry had never been a fan of pink, but it was the only dress in her size that the castle had. She walked over to the table and Havoc elbowed Ed to make him stand up and pull out her chair. They were all quiet for awhile before Havoc decided to take matters into his own hands and said, "So, where are you from?"

When she didn't say anything he smiled and said, "You don't have to be shy, cutie, no one's going to hurt you!"

"She can't talk lover boy." Ed said. "Are you trying to set me up with her or go out with her yourself?"

Havoc glared at Ed and said, "I was just being nice! You could try a little harder!"

While they argued, Winry had spotted her fork and grabbed it excitedly. She hadn't been able to brush her hair as well as she would've liked so she quickly began running it through her hair. Ed and Havoc both stopped arguing and looked at Winry like she was crazy. She saw their looks, stopped, and quickly set the fork down, looking embarrassed. Havoc leaned in towards Ed and said, "Is she alright?"

Ed leaned towards Havoc and said, "Maybe she hit her head during the shipwreck and is confused.

As they puzzled over Winry, Brosh and been searching frantically for a way to escape from the hellish kitchen he was trapped in, but all the doors were closed and he was constantly in danger of being spotted by Barry as he went about the kitchen making lunch. He sighed as he chopped off a fish's head and said, "I really do love to cause harm to living things." He tossed the fish's head into the garbage and tossed the rest of it into a pot. While he was distracted, Brosh quickly crossed the table and hid behind a pot as Barry's attention was turned back to the fish. And horrors of all horrors, Barry began to sing.

"Les poissons, les poissons, how I love les poissons! Love to chop and to serve little fish. First I cut off their heads and then I rip out their bones!"

Brosh looked on as Barry did exactly as he sang. Feeling nauseous, Brosh scurried across the table, hoping to escape.

"With my cleaver I hack them in two, I pull out what's inside and I serve it up fried! God, I love little fishes don't you? Here's something tempting for the palate, prepared in the classic technique, first you pound the fish flat with a mallet, then you slash through the skin, give the belly a slice, then you rub some salt in because that makes it taste nice!"

Brosh, feeling even sicker now, practically fainted, falling out in the open. Barry saw the sick crab and grabbed it. "How could I possibly have missed one? This puts me behind!"

He angrily pulled out a bowl of sauce and tossed Brosh in, still singing, "Here we go in the sauce, now some flour I think, just a dab, and I'll stuff you with bread, unfortunately it doesn't hurt, because you're dead! Just count yourself lucky you are, because it's going to get hot inside my big silver pot, good-bye and farewell, au revoir!"

Barry tossed Brosh over his shoulder and into the boiling pot. Luckily, Brosh grabbed the edge of the pot and flung himself back out onto the table. Barry grabbed a meat fork and skewered it into the table, trapping Brosh between the tongs. He brought the crab to his face to see if it was still alive and Brosh reached out and clamped his nose. Barry yelped in pain and dropped Brosh onto the floor. He grabbed a huge meat cleaver and shouted, "I'll get you for that you little bastard!"

And so a chase ensued involving Barry chasing Brosh all over the kitchen, throwing all manner of cutlery until Brosh dived under a table and Barry ran headlong into the table causing a clatter of pots and pans.

Back in the dining room, Pinako was serving tea and nearly splattered it all over Ed as she was pouring when the clatter of pots and pans was heard from the kitchen. They all looked towards the kitchen with trepidation until Pinako said, "I'll go see what Barry's up to."

When she opened the door to the kitchen it was to find Barry tossing pots, pans, and knives over his shoulder as he screamed, "Where are you?!?!? Why don't you come out and fight like a man?!?!?!?!?"

"Barry!" Pinako shouted at him.

He quickly turned towards her and she said, "What the hell are you doing?"

He stood up and said, "Nothing."

Pinako picked up the tray of food and left, shaking her head. As she was setting the covered plates down in front of Havoc, Winry, and Ed, Havoc said, "I just got a great idea. Ed, why don't you take Winry out tomorrow and show her around the kingdom?"

Ed, who had been watching Winry, looked at Havoc and said, "What? Oh, right. Only if she wants too though."

Winry was ignoring them both. While they had been talking, Pinako had lifted the cover off of Havoc's plate and revealed Brosh hiding. Winry quickly motioned for him to run to her plate and Brosh did so. She lifted the cover for him and slammed it shut just as Ed said, "So would you like that? Would you like a tour of the kingdom?"

Winry nodded emphatically and Havoc, with a look of triumph said, "Now that, that's settled, let's eat!"

He dug his fork into what he expected to be crab and what he got was a whole lot of nothing.

"Lust?" a voice suddenly said from the doorway.

All the homunculi turned to see Gluttony standing in the doorway, his finger in his mouth.

"Gluttony, I thought I put you to bed. What's the matter?" Lust asked.

"I heard a scary noise! Something in the walls!"

"That would be Envy." Sloth said. "He ran headlong into the wall in an attempt to tackle Pride."

"Come on." Lust said, standing up. "I'll put you back to bed."

"No, no. I can't sleep anymore." Gluttony said.

"Then stay and listen to the story." Sloth said.

Gluttony looked excited and said, "Story, story!" before jumping into the room and landing next to Lust, nearly squashing Envy.

"Hey! Watch where you're going you fat tub of lard!" Envy yelled, shoving Gluttony over.

"Be nice now Envy." Pride said before nodding at Sloth. "Go on with the story."

And that's all for now! I don't know when the next part will be ready, but it shouldn't be more than a few days.


	7. The Second Day

Moving on, moving on…here's the next chapter! Thank you again for your reviews of course! And yes, this is based on the Disney version of the Little Mermaid, hence the singing. Okay, onward!

Dark eventually fell and Winry folded the covers down on her bed, ready for a good nights sleep after such an exhausting day. She threw open the windows and walked onto her balcony to take a breath of the night air. She closed her eyes and felt a twinge of homesickness as the salty air blew in from the ocean. These thoughts were cleanly driven from her mind when she saw Edward come out of the palace with Den. She watched as he threw a stick to the other side of the courtyard and laughed when Den went scrambling after it. Edward heard the laugh and looked up at her, smiling. He gave her a little wave which we embarrassedly returned before retreating back into her room, closing the windows. Winry quickly brushed her hair out with the fork she had nicked from the table before sitting on her bed. She was surprised by how soft and springy it was. She sunk into it, her feet leaving the floor to dangle over the edge of the bed a good foot and half. She smiled and swung her feet into bed, jumping up and down before covering herself up and grabbing a pillow. As she did all this Brosh, who was standing on her nightstand, was pacing back and forth, worrying about the coming day.

"Alright Winry, here's what you've got to do. One day is already gone and with only two left you've really got to turn on the charm. You've got to bat your eyes and pucker your lips and say, without words, take me in your arms and kiss me!"

He looked over at Winry and saw she had fallen asleep. He sighed and blew out the candle, leaving the room in darkness, before climbing onto a pillow and falling asleep.

As all this happened above the water, under it, Hughes' was worrying nonstop about his daughter. Despite it being late at night he stood at the window of the palace, waiting for his messengers to return with news. Finally, a small seahorse came swimming frantically up to him and said, "I've returned your majesty!"

Hughes turned on him and said, "And what about my daughter?"

The seahorse looked sad as he said, "There's still no sign of her I'm afraid."

Hughes' sighed and said, "Well keep searching! Leave no place unsearched! Don't rest until you've found her and brought her home!"

The seahorse bowed and left. Hughes' sat down on his throne, head in hands, and said, "Oh Winry. What have I done?"

Winry, of course, knew nothing of her father's sorrow and she rose the next morning looking forward to her day with Edward! She got up and, under Pinako's supervision, brushed her teeth, washed up, and got dressed in a blue and black dress with a blue bow holding her hair back. She went outside the palace and saw Ed waiting for her standing next to a horse drawn carriage. He smiled as he saw her and said, "Ready to go?"

Winry nodded and jumped into the carriage next to Ed. He flicked the reins and said, "You look beautiful today."

Winry smiled and nodded, conveying that she thought Ed looked nice as well. Ed planned on showing Winry everything his kingdom had to offer, starting with a tour and ending with them rowing out into a secluded lake connected to the ocean. Ed knew Winry would love to see the fireflies. As soon as the carriage pulled into the marketplace and they both stepped onto the cobbled streets, Winry was pulling Ed every which way looking for things to see. They saw puppet shows, street vendors, men, women, and children all bustling through the marketplace, all looking for things to do and see. About halfway through the day Winry saw a small group of people dancing in a café. She grabbed Ed's arm and dragged him over to dance. Even though Winry had never done it before she was a quick study and was soon dancing as well as anyone. They danced until they collapsed on top of each other breathless and laughing. Once they were back into the carriage Ed offered Winry the reins and she eagerly grabbed them, flicking them harder than was entirely appropriate and sending the carriage rumbling and tumbling over the country roads. Ed was thrown back into his seat and his eyes widened in terror as he saw a ravine ahead. Winry showed no fear, however, and pushed the horses on. With a mighty leap they crossed the ravine with no problem, the carriage rocking slightly as they continued on their way. Ed slowly rose up from the floor, realized they both weren't dead, and relaxed, letting Winry have her fun. As they crossed by an aqueduct Al rose out of the water to watch them. When they passed by he yelled up to Brosh, who was stowing away to watch, "Hey! Have they kissed yet?"

Brosh shook his head sadly as the carriage trundled on. Al looked disappointed as he heard this news. Fuery, who had been flying overhead watching, landed nearby and said, "Hey Al! Have they kissed yet?"

Al sighed and said, "No, not yet."

"Really? Well what's taking so long?"

"How should I know?" Al asked.

They both shrugged and headed towards the lake where Ed and Winry would seen be arriving at.

Night fell and Ed and Winry were soon in a small wooden boat on a lake, fireflies alighting on the cat tails before swirling away into the air. It was very magical, and also very romantic. Ed rowed them out into the middle of the lake near a few willow trees. Fuery, Al, and Brosh were hiding in a clump of weeds, watching them.

"I don't believe it!" Fuery said. "It's been two days and I haven't seen him even try to kiss her!"

"This isn't going to work!" Brosh cried out. "At this rate Winry'll be lost to Dante in no time!" He yanked out a cat tail to use as a baton and said, "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. I'll create a little mood music…"

He turned to a group of ducks and turtles and said, "Percussion..."

The ducks nodded and turned the turtles over to use them as drums. Brosh turned to the weeds blowing in the winds and said, "Winds…"

He cleared his throat and said, "And now…words."

He grabbed a cattail that still had a head on it and used it like a microphone singing, "There you see her. Sitting there across the way. She doesn't have a lot to say, but there's something about her. And you don't know why, but you're dieing to try, you want to kiss the girl."

Ed looked suspiciously around him and asked Winry, "Did you hear anything?"

Winry, who had seen Brosh trying to set the mood, looked innocent and shook her head. Brosh moved closer to the boat and continued singing, "Yes, you want her, look at her, you know you do. It's possible she wants you too. There is one way to ask her, it won't take a word, not a single word, go on and kiss the girl."

Ed stopped the boat in the middle of the lake and said, "You know, I just realized something. We've been doing stuff all day and I don't even know your name."

Winry shrugged to indicate she didn't mind but Ed started to guess anyway.

"Is it…Rose?"

Winry shook her head.

"Okay, not Rose…how about Riza? Sheska? Lyra?"

Brosh climbed up the side of the boat as it passed by and whispered, "Winry! Her name is Winry!"

Ed heard the name, but didn't know where, and said, "Winry? Is that it?"

Winry nodded happily and Ed smiled and said, "Alright then, Winry."

Brosh went back to his cattail and continued singing, "My, oh my, looks like the boy is shy, he's not going to kiss the girl! Isn't that sad, it's just too bad, he's going to miss the girl! Now's your moment, floating in a blue lagoon, boy you'd better do it soon, no time will be better, she don't say a word and she won't say a word until you kiss the girl!"

Ed, subconsciously listening to the music, was looked at Winry in a new light. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't think Winry was attractive, yet he still felt obligated to wait for the woman of his dreams. But then, it couldn't hurt to just kiss Winry could it? As these thoughts raced through his head Brosh continued to sing, "Don't be scared, you got the mood prepared go on and kiss the girl! Don't stop now, don't try to hide it how, you want to kiss the girl! Float along and listen to the song, the song says, 'Kiss the girl.'!"

Winry stared Ed in the eyes and Ed stared back. The music played in the background and they slowly began to approach each other.

"The music plays, do what the music says, go on and kiss the girl! You've got to kiss the girl! You want to kiss the girl! You've got to kiss the girl! You want to kiss the girl!"

The music slowly played out as Ed and Winry got closer, and closer, and closer, their lips inches apart. They could both feel the other's breath on their faces they were so close. So close…

And then the mood was totally destroyed as the boat tipped over and they were plunged into the freezing night waters of the lake. Brosh, Fuery, and Al all groaned in frustration, Fuery saying, "So close!"

Ed quickly righted the boat and helped Winry in.

"Sorry about that, I don't know what happened!" He apologized.

Little did they know, Envy and Greed had upset the boat and were sniggering with each other. Dante, who was watching the whole thing in cauldron, sighed in relief and laid her head down on the edge of the cauldron.

"Good work boys!" She said, wiping her forehead. "That was close…too close!" She slammed her hand against the cauldron and said, "The little tramp!" She ran her hands through her hair and muttered, "She's better than I thought! Well, I haven't come this far to have it all get destroyed!"

She swam up to her cupboard and tore it open, revealing the many bottled labeled with names. She grabbed the shell containing Winry's voice, a bottle marked Disguise, and lastly, a pink bottle with the word Rose on it. She tossed the bottles marked Disguise and Rose into the cauldron causing an explosion of smoke that wrapped around Dante.

"I'll teach them to mess with a girl like me! No one crosses Dante the sea witch! I'll have my revenge and see Hughes squirming like a worm on a hook!"

She laughed evilly as her form was shifted from that of her slim black haired fair skinned self into a dark skinned dark haired, with pink bangs, woman. Her voice also changed from her own to Winry's.

As Dante planned to get more hands on in her plan, Ed was leaning against the castle, looking out into the ocean and thinking deeply about his feelings. He loved Winry. It was as simple as that. She was wonderful girl and he'd never had such a good time as he had had with her. Yet he still knew that the woman who had saved his life was out there and he felt a loyalty to her that couldn't be explained. He was so deeply engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Havoc approach.

"You know Ed." He said, lighting up a cigarette. "You can spend your whole life waiting for a girl who might not exist, or you can start a life with a wonderful girl that's right in front of you. Think about it."

He blew out a cloud of smoke and left Ed with his thoughts. Ed looked up at an illuminated window and saw Winry inside it, brushing her hair. He smiled and at her and looked out into the ocean. He picked up a rock and threw it. He listened and heard it plunk into the waves. Having made up his mind, he was about to go back into the palace when he heard a voice. A singing voice! And it wasn't just any singing voice, but the voice of the woman who had saved him! He frantically searched, looking for any sign of the woman. Finally, he saw her. She was walking down the beach, a small nautilus shell around her neck, wearing a lovely blue dress. She had dark skin and darker hair, yet strangely, pink bangs. Yellow mist seemed to hang about her and flow upwards toward Ed. As soon as it touched him he felt a strange feeling of ease. He felt his mind lose all thought except one: he had to marry this girl. He had to be with her.

The night passed ominously and morning soon came. It was the third day and Brosh was getting exceedingly nervous. His nervousness wasn't abated when Fuery came flying through the open window. Winry woke with a start and looked blearily at Fuery who was shaking her hand vigorously.

"I just heard the good news Winry!" He said. "When is it going to be?"

"When is what going to be?" Brosh asked wearily.

"The wedding of course!" Fuery said happily. "Everyone all over the kingdom is talking about how the Prince proposed last night!"

Winry heard this news and grinned happily. She didn't remember him proposing to her, but she'd been with him all day! She didn't know everything about humans so she probably had missed it. She leaped out of bed and dashed to the door. Before leaving her room, she made sure she was presentable in the mirror, then threw open the door and rushed down the hall and down the stairs. She stopped just short of the second set of stairs leading into the foyer and listened to a conversation going on between Ed, Havoc, and a strange woman she'd never seen before.

"I have to say I'm surprised." Havoc said. "I never thought that the girl Ed was going on about actually existed, but I'm glad you found each other."

Ed, a glazed look in his eyes, said, "Rose and I are going to be married. Tonight. 

Havoc raised an eyebrow and said, "Okay, but you realize these things take time right? I've got a lot of work ahead of me to get this thing set up."

"The wedding barge sails at sunset." Ed said in a tone that clearly stated no questions asked.

Havoc was starting to get a little suspicious. Ed had been totally adverse to marriage a few days ago and now he was suddenly rushing the whole thing? But then he realized he shouldn't complain. Now that he was getting married he could officially take over ruling the kingdom as King and Havoc would get some time off. So he said, "Whatever you want."

Winry heard all this and her eyes welled with tears. She rushed into her room and Rose watched her go, smiling. Her hand played with the nautilus around her neck and she laughed softly to herself.

Envy grinned in spite of himself. "This story just keeps getting better and better! Who would've thought there'd be betrayal and deception in this sugar coated love fest?"

Gluttony looked up excitedly at the word sugar, but quickly went back to sucking on his finger. Lust patted him on the head and said, "It doesn't matter. Stories like this always have happy endings. He'll figure out she's not the real deal and drop her."

"And since when have you been the love doctor Lust?" Greed said.

Lust threw him a scathing look but chose not to reply. Wrath started getting antsy at this interruption and Sloth saw this.

"Perhaps we should get back to the story." She said.

"I'm confused." Pride said. "I don't know what's going on in the story. Go back and start over."

Everyone groaned and Envy said, "It's your own damn fault you weren't here! We're not starting over for you!"

Pride took out his sword and passed it cleanly through Envy's head. Everyone yelled as blood splattered all over them.

Greed took off his jacket and threw it to the ground. "This was my best jacket too!"

"All you jackets look the same." Wrath said, kicking off his now blood colored sheets. "My bed is ruined!"

Sloth calmed him down before he started shouting. The last thing anyone needed was a brawl between the homunculi. Everyone settled down and after Envy's head reformed they waited for the end of the story.

Talk about a brain fart! I totally forgot about the homunculi! Well, here they are now, sorry for the inconvenience. I finally finished this part. One more to go, so I hope you enjoyed this and will enjoy the next one.


	8. The Final Day and Dawn of a New Day

And wer are now at the last chapter…of The Little Mermaid. For all those hoping for another Twisted Fairy Tale you won't have to hope, as I'll be writing another. It'll be in this same story but to find out what it is you'll have to read this chapter. See you in the end note!

Winry was devastated. In less than five minutes her entire life had been destroyed again. She jumped onto her bed and cried her eyes out too depressed and miserable to tell Fury and Brosh the truth. It didn't take long for word to spread throughout the castle and they both quickly figured it out. Brosh patted her on the head and said, "It's okay Winry. We all have had heartache."

"Some more than others." Fury said.

Winry didn't care. She just kept crying until there were no more tears left. Fury couldn't take seeing Winry so miserable so he flew off to find something to cheer Winry up. Winry, meanwhile, went out to the dock to talk to Al and, when the time came, to see off the wedding barge.

Fury scanned the sea looking for something to bring back to Winry. He was about to give up when he spied the wedding barge. He swooped down to an open window and looked in to see Rose laughing and dancing in her room in front of a vanity. Fury watched as she spun around, pulling a hairpin out of her hair, singing, "Everything is working to my ultimate design!"

She laughed and tossed the hair pin at the mirror striking the cupid molding right between the eyes. Fury gulped as she stepped up onto the vanity crushing bottles indiscriminately still singing, "Soon I'll have that little mermaid, and the ocean will be mine!"

She tilted the mirror back to admire herself and Fury looked at the reflection in horror! Dante was starting out, laughing, her tentacles curling in the air behind her!

"It's the sea witch!" Fury gasped. "I've got to go tell Winry!"

He slammed into the side of the barge before righting himself and flapping off to find Winry. Unfortunately, due to his panic the sun was already setting, and the barge was setting sail by the time her found her sulking at the dock. He dove down and landed, hard, on the dock.

"Winry! I was flying, and I saw the wedding barge and, and, and, singing, and big tentacles, and marrying, witch! Sea witch!"

"What are you talking about?" Brosh asked.

"The girl the prince is going to marry is the sea witch in disguise!"

Everyone gasped and Al said, "We've got to stop the barge!"

Winry jumped into the water and began to swim despite the waves towards the boat. Brosh snipped the ropes on a nearby pile of barrels and they all dropped into the ocean. He tossed Winry the rope who tied it around one of the barrels. Al grabbed the other end and started swimming towards the barge.

"Hurry Al!" Brosh yelled after them. "I'm going to go tell Hughes everything! He'll be able to stop this!"

Fury quickly jumped in front of Brosh and said, "What about me? What should I do?"

"Stall!" Brosh said, jumping into the water. "Stall by any means necessary!"

Fury saluted and quickly took to the air. Before heading towards the barge he flew above the ocean yelling, "All creatures of land, sea, and air listen up! If you want to help save Winry and defeat the sea witch follow me!"

Several birds, including flamingos, sparrows, robins, and seagulls swooped after Fury. From the ocean, seals, starfish, dolphins, and more swam with all speed towards the barge.

Meanwhile, the bewitched Ed and the evil witch in disguise were walking down the aisle amidst friends and family of Ed while Envy and Greed swam under the barge, waiting for Dante's signal. Den growled at Rose as she passed but she just sneered at him and gave him a kick in the head with her high heeled shoe. Den yipped and ran below deck. Rose smiled as they approached the priest. The priest cleared his throat, pushed up his spectacles and began to read, "Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony."

As the priest continued the ceremony, his face getting increasingly closer to the large book in front of him, Rose turned her head as she heard something approaching the barge. Her eyes widened in shock as birds of every description swooped down on her, dropping eggs, mud, sand, and water all over Rose. Ed just stood there in front of the priest waiting for the ceremony to end. Rose started screaming and stumbled over a chair as several sea creatures rose out of the water and attached to her. She pulled them off, running to the edge of the barge only to get fish slapped by a dolphin being supported by a few flamingos. She swatted and set forth such a spew of obscenities that the most grisly sailor present blushed. Rose swung around to throw a starfish at a nearby seal and was face to face with Fury who screeched in her face. She grabbed him by the neck and started strangling him yelling through gritted teeth, "Why you little…!"

Winry climbed the side of the barge and pulled herself over the edge, looking at all the mayhem in surprise. Rose saw her and their eyes met for a moment. Rose growled and looked ready to tear out Winry's eyes when Den rushed back up deck and bit her right on her ass. She howled in pain, rearing back and Fury removed the nautilus shell from around her neck. It smashed on the ground and everyone heard Winry's wonderful voice singing as it flowed back to its rightful owner. As Ed heard the voice coming from Winry, the spell was broken. He rushed over to her and said, "Winry! It was you! You were the one who saved me!"

Rose, panting heavily, reached out her hand and said in Dante's voice, "Ed no!"

Winry grabbed Ed and said, "I'm so sorry! I wanted to tell you but I couldn't!"

"It doesn't matter!" Ed said. "We're together now."

Knowing the moment was finally right, Winry moved forward to receive true loves kiss…and was once again denied. As their lips were once again inches apart the sun set and Winry turned back into a mermaid. Her tail stuck awkwardly out the back of her dress and she quickly sat down.

"Winry…what's happening?"

Winry clapped her hands over her face and said, "Oh, Ed! I never meant for it to end like this!"

Rose, meanwhile, rose to her feet, laughing and shouting, "You're too late! At last! You're too late!"

As she laughed evilly she raised her hands into the air. Lightning struck each of her fingers and her wedding dress exploded as she turned back into Dante. Everyone screamed as they saw the horrible octopus woman rushing forward to grab Winry. She got one arm around her neck and pushed them both off the edge of the barge and into the water. Dante sighed and said, "Don't worry my dear. I have no time to waste killing you. I've much bigger fish to fry!"

She turned to head back to her lair and came face to face with Hughes pointing the glowing trident at her face.

"Where do you think you're going with my daughter?" He asked in a dangerous voice.

Dante smirked and said, "Why Hughes! It's been so long, hasn't it? Why it seems like just yesterday you were banishing me from your kingdom!"

"I believe I asked you a question."

"Back off!" She screamed pulling Winry in close. "She's mine!"

One of Dante's tentacles brought a contract up to Hughes and she said, "She signed this contract out of her own free will! She belongs to me!"

"Dad I'm sorry! I didn't know! I…" Winry was interrupted as one of Dante's tentacles covered her mouth.

Hughes lost his temper and blasted the contract with his trident. Dante was knocked backwards into a rock but otherwise completely unharmed. She laughed and said, "You see? It's binding and legal! Not even the sea king can destroy that!"

Hughes looked angry and troubled as Dante swam up to him holding out the contract.

"But I might be willing to part with her for something even better…care to sign your name?"

Hughes knew he had no choice. He had to protect his daughter at all costs. With a conflicting look on his face he pointed his trident at the contract and signed it. Winry's name disappeared and was replaced with his own. Dante rolled the contract up and with a twirl of her hand Hughes was transformed into a polyp. Dante rubbed her hands together greedily, grabbing the crown and placing it on her own head, before grabbing the trident and stroking it in her hand.

"Oooh, after all these years it's finally mine! My revenge is complete! Not only is that fool sea king disposed, but I have total control over all of the oceans!"

She turned to Winry lifting the trident.

"There's just one more thing to take care of…"

Dante grabbed Winry by the neck and shoved her against a rock, holding the trident over her, ready to stab Winry. Luckily, before she was shish kabobed, Ed, who had jumped in the water after Winry, fired a harpoon that just grazed Dante's shoulder. She grabbed the spot and turned to face Ed in fury. Envy and Greed wrapped themselves around Ed, holding him under water. Brosh, who had been lurking nearby, clamped Envy's tail forcing him to let Ed go. Dante pointed the trident at him and prepared to fire a blast. Winry slapped her face with her tail and the blast went awry hitting Envy and Greed instead. Dante growled in frustration, muttering, "Always getting in my way!"

Winry and Ed quickly swam to the surface as Dante waved the trident around her, causing a whirlpool to appear. Ed and Winry broke the surface and gasped, grabbing onto each other. Before they could do anything else, Dante rose from the ocean on top of a gigantic tidal wave. The wave rose high above them as Dante called down the ferocity of a typhoon. Lightning struck the trident and created whirlpools around the couple.

"Don't you fools understand?" Dante thundered above them. "I rule the seas now! The ocean and all its spoils, bow down to my power!"

Winry and Ed became separated and Winry was sucked to the ocean floor in the middle of the whirlpool. Dante crashed down on the wave, washing Ed away and started blasting Winry with the trident. Every shot missed as Dante wasn't a very good shot with the trident and Winry was doing a wonderful job of dodging. Providence was on their side, however, as Dante lost grip of the trident. She tried to grab at it but failed and it was swept away in the tide.

"No! The power of the oceans gone! I will not lose!"

She dove under the water to grab it again but was shocked to see Ed holding it. He grinned at her and said, "You lose!"

Dante tried to escape but it was no use. Ed threw the trident and it pierced Dante's heart. Blood flowed all around her as her body sank into the ocean, decomposing at a rapid rate as she had been using magic to keep her body young. Soon, nothing was left. All the polyps in Dante's lair as well as Hughes turned back to normal. Winry had hidden from Ed as he washed up on the beach back at his castle. She knew she had no chance with him now that she was just a mermaid again. She sat on a rock and sighed, watching him. Hughes and Brosh were just behind her, watching her.

"She really does love him doesn't she?" Hughes asked sadly.

"I think she answered that question when she risked her life to be with him." Brosh said.

Hughes sighed and nodded. There was only one thing left to do. "I'm going to miss her!" He said sadly. "Now I've only got Sheska and Paninya left!"

He layed the trident down on the surface of the water sent glittering waves over to Winry. She looked down at her tail and gasped in surprise and happiness as she saw it turn into legs, clad in a sparkling purple dress. She jumped into the water and walked over to Ed. Ed turned and his eyes widened as he saw Winry running up to him, human again! They embraced and finally, FINALLY, got to kiss.

"And so, thanks to Winry's trials and tribulations, she gained the respect of her father, married the man of her dreams, and reformed the links between the humans and mermaids. And she lived happily ever after. The End."

Sloth closed the book and said, "Now wasn't that a good story?"

Envy jumped up and said, "A good story? Are you frickin kidding me? I DIED!"

"I thought it ended perfectly." Lust said.

"Perfectly! Perfectly!" Gluttony echoed happily.

"Shut up tubs!" Envy said, kicking Gluttony in the back of the head.

"I can't believe I wasted this much time listening to that damn story." Greed said, looking at the clock. "I'm late for my engagement."

He slipped his shades back on and stood to leave.

"I want another story!" Wrath said. "I'm not tired!"

Everyone groaned except Pride who said, "Good. I want to hear a whole story."

Sloth turned several pages back and said, "I think you'll like this one Envy. It features Scar in a dress."

Greed stopped dead in his track and grinned saying, "Did you say Scar in a dress?"

Envy and Greed howled with laughter as Lust blushed angrily.

"This I've got to hear!" Envy said, sitting back down.

"Why is everyone so keen to hear about Scar in a dress?" Sloth thought to herself. "The whole thing is creepy if you ask me."

But all the homunculi were staring at her, waiting for the story, so she sighed and started to read.

That rounds out this Twisted Fairy Tale and another is on its way! By popular demand, I've decided to make the Cinderella story, featuring Scar, next! So when that comes I hope you'll enjoy it!


	9. He Still Won't Sleep! The Second Story

Here it is! The first part of my next Twisted Fairy Tale! I hope you'll all enjoy it.

"Once upon a time there was a prosperous kingdom where the royal family lived in beautiful accommodations, ate the finest foods, talked with all the most important people, and slept in the finest beds. Far, far, from that wonderful fairy castle where all your dreams were likely to come true was a mildly pleasant village where high society met. These people lived in mansions and had slightly worse accommodations, average food, met with a few mildly interesting people and slept in a modest bed. One of these mansions in particular was owned by the wealthy land baroness Dante. She had come form a strange foreign family that no one really knew anything about and had married a wealthy land baron. Mysteriously the land baron died leaving Dante his entire fortune."

"Mysteriously." muttered Envy. "She obviously killed him."

This statement earned a glare from Sloth. Envy, for once, shutted up and let Sloth continue.

"Strangely, despite her living alone she managed to, almost magically, produce two children whom she named William and Fredrick. But in private those two were only known as Envy and Greed."

Greed grabbed the book out of Sloth's hands and reread the previous paragraph. "Holy hell on Earth!" He said. "How did they know my other name?"

Envy pfffted and said, "You're human name was Fredrick? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"I wouldn't be laughing William." Lust said coyly.

That shut Envy up. He sulked and muttered, "I didn't choose that name. That's number twenty six on my list of reasons I hate Hohenheim. He came up with that gem of a name…"

Sloth kicked Greed in the crotch and took the book back. She continued reading as Greed curled up in pain.

"No one really cared for her as she was moody, prone to violence, and smelled of cheap perfume. Dante had ambition and wanted only one thing: to be in a position of power. The fastest way to do that was to marry the king, but he already was married. So she set her sights on the princess. Her boys were about the same age as their daughter and would be perfect for marriage. As she was musing on the best way to get to the princess she set out the milk bottles on the porch and was shocked to see a baby on the stoop. It was a boy that had obviously come out of the East as was evident by his dark skin. Curiously he had an X-shaped scar over his eyes and forehead. Dante cocked an eyebrow at the baby and looked down the street. No one was in sight so she snatched the baby up. It began to cry as soon as she closed the door. She rocked a little and he was soon asleep again. She smiled down at him and took him to Envy and Greed's room. There was only two cribs in there, one for baby Greed, and one for baby Envy. She deposited the new baby in with Envy and said, "Three chances now. My odds are getting better every day."

She laughed softly to herself and left the babies alone.

"And so time passed and Envy and Greed aged and matured at an alarming rate. People whispered about how in only a few years, Envy and Greed looked like they were ten. And yet, the third baby, the one with dark skin that no one knew the name too, was aging at a perfectly normal rate. People often shook their heads as they saw the poor boy being abused by the older and stronger Envy and Greed. Dante was frustrated with her children as they weren't turning out the way she wanted them too. Envy was moody and dressed strangely and never allowed anyone to cut his hair. Before too long, his hair was unnaturally long and styled into a very strange style that made him look like a palm tree. He was still more obedient than Greed. He was constantly sneaking out of the house for whatever reason, stealing from people, and never sharing anything with Envy or his much younger step brother. Dante didn't know what to think of her new son who was still too young to judge anything by. Dante, as well as raising her sons, was following the life of the princess as well. The girl was gloomy and she was gloomy because her mother died young and as a result of a lack of a mother figure the girl was tomboyish and spoiled and didn't leave the palace often, though whether this was because of her own anti social tendencies or because of overprotective parents Dante didn't know. She did know that she had long golden hair and a pale complexion, which wasn't much help since all the princesses in the world had pale skin and long golden hair etc. etc.

"More years passed and Envy and Greed matured into adults…and then stopped aging. It was popular talk among the other townsfolk that Dante was a witch and had created demon children but no one dared to say this above a whisper lest Dante hear them and do nameless damaging things. Envy had become even more jealous and rebellious wearing clothes a twelve dollar whore would blush at."

"I told you." Lust said. "I always said you looked like that."

"Shut up!" Envy growled raising a fist threateningly at her. "I swear if anyone says even one more derogatory comment to me I'll take off their heads with my bare hands."

Pride threateningly unsheathed his sword and said, "I really would rethink that strategy Envy."

Envy muttered about something again and sat back down. Sloth turned the page and said, "No more interruptions!"

"As the youngest son grew older Dante gave up trying to think up a name for him. Everything she ventured to say as a name was thrown down by her youngest with much screaming and protesting so she finally settled on the nickname her other sons had given him: Scar. As Scar reached adulthood, Envy and Greed did nothing but torment him. But he never fought back. It was like he had a connection with a higher plane and felt no need to lower himself to his step brother's level. Dante was displeased with his lack of fire and made him do all the work around the house. He cooked, he cleaned, he did the dishes, he did the shopping, he cleaned the chimneys and did anything else Envy, Greed, or Dante could come up with. He took all this stoically and every night he could be seen praying before going to bed. The house had a few small animals (mice, lizards, a rat) but they all avoided Scar as he was constantly frowning and was quite fearsome to behold. And so Scar toiled day and night for his wicked step brothers and equally wicked step mother. It was the dawn of such another day when our story truly begins."

The sun rose cheerfully in the sky and cast a bright glow over the village. Scar, sleeping soundly in his bed, was suddenly woken by a scream from downstairs.

"Hey! Scar! Get your ass down here and make us breakfast! We've been waiting for an hour!"

Scar's eyes snapped open and he glared at his ceiling. He knew that annoying voice far too well. It was Envy calling him for yet another day of ridicule and torment. Scar thrust back the covers and kneeled at his bedside, eyes closed and hands clasped in prayer.

"Merciful God please take pity on your servant and send salvation for my work. Release me from the binds of servitude and pass judgment on the poor wretches below me."

"HEY! What the hell are you waiting for?!?"

Scar gritted his teeth and stood up, going to his clothes box. After Scar turned thirteen Dante had moved him out of Envy's room (Who had moved out of Greed's room when they were both thirteen) and into the only available room: the attic. The place was dirty, dusty, and covered in cobwebs. His few clothes were stored in a cardboard box and his bed was a few blankets and a flat pillow. He put on a shirt and pants before grabbing a pair of socks and putting them on as he walked out of his room. He ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where Greed and Envy were sitting sullenly. He hadn't taken more than one step before Envy said, "And where is your uniform?"

Scar sighed and stepped back out. When he came back in he was wearing a black blouse, brown skirt and shiny black shoes. His head was covered by a rag and he was wearing an apron. He could tell it was going to be another awful day.

And that's all for now. If it seems a little disjointed or boring, remember it's just the introduction. I hope you enjoy this and as always, review.


	10. Royal Ball Announced

Yay, I got more reviews! Thank you all so much, it's really good to hear you're enjoying the story! For your enjoyment, I present the next chapter.

Scar quickly went to the stove to begin preparing breakfast for his step brothers, avoiding their eyes all the while. Envy was watching him gleefully just waiting for an excuse to voice a complaint or suggest a better course of action. Greed, not feeling up to torturing Scar so early in the morning, ignored the whole proceeding and read the newspaper. It was just more of the same in there, blah, blah, blah, the king is raising taxes, blah, blah, blah, mental illness is considered a sin, blah, blah, blah, the princess is turning eighteen, on and on. Scar finished making breakfast and set the plates down in front of his step brothers. Greed tossed the newspaper aside and frowned at his plate.

"And just what the hell is this?" he asked.

"It's eggs." Scar said. "The same thing I make for you every Wednesday."

"Yeah, about that." Greed said, smiling. "I really don't feel like eggs today, so…"

He flipped the plate onto the floor and said, "Make me something else, and don't forget to clean up that mess you made."

Envy sniggered as he watched Scar clean up the mess and start making something else. Halfway through making pancakes for Greed, the door flew open and Dante waltzed in, her face flushed with the cool morning air. She was wearing a stunning blue dress today with long sleeves and a fox fur scarf tossed carelessly around her neck. Her hands were warmed by an ermine muff and a fur lined hat kept her head warm. She tossed the muff aside, followed by the hat, and said, "Good morning Greed, good morning Envy."

She sat down at the table completely ignoring Scar.

"What were you doing so early in the morning?" Envy asked.

"Oh, the usual." Dante said.

No one dared to say anything else. When Greed and Envy were ten and Scar was still a toddler Envy had asked what Dante meant by "Oh, the usual." She had grabbed him by the arm, dragged him into the closet, closed the door and did something terrible, but silent. Whatever it was, Envy never spoke of it, Dante never spoke of it, and no one had the nerve to ask what "Oh, the usual" meant ever again. Scar, meanwhile, had finished making Greed his pancakes and set the plate before him. Dante smiled and leaned forward.

"Don't forget all the chores you still have to do Scar. For today I want you to wash the windows, sweep all the floors in the mansion, scrub out Envy's bathroom, and wash all of Greed's jackets. After that you will make us lunch and then you will wash and press my clothes, clean out Greed's bathroom, and brush Envy's hair. You will then make us dinner and proceed to draw Greed's bath, clean my bathroom, wash Envy's "clothes", clean out the chimney and pull back the covers on my bed."

Scar nodded at each of these outrageous tasks, no longer bothering to argue, because his complaints fell on deaf ears. Suddenly Greed let out a yell and his chair tipped over backwards. On his plate was a large rat, hiding under the pancakes. Envy nearly fell off his own chair, howling with laughter at Greed. Dante's lips curled and she shot a venomous glare at Scar.

"If you have time to play tricks on your own brother then you most certainly don't have enough work to do. In addition to your usual chores you will repaint the mansion, trim the hedges, wash out the carriage, inside and out, and weed the garden."

Scar took this verbal stolidly. If he even tried to defend himself Dante would just assign him more chores.

Dante then stood up and said, "Come Envy, Greed, we have business in town."

As they left Scar cleaned up the dishes and sat down, eating something for himself before doing all the chores he had to accomplish before the day was out. He jotted down all the extra jobs and put them in the margins of his usual list of work and remade his timetable. He'd have to sweep faster, wash harder, and brush smoother if he wanted to get everything done in time. He made another quick prayer to Ishbala to send something to help him, then grabbed a broom and started sweeping.

As all this was happening in the village, the denizens of the palace were going about their usual routines. The maids were cleaning, the cooks were preparing the daily meals, the stables were alive with stable boys brushing, washing, and shoeing the horses, and the king was in his throne room with a mountain of work to complete. The king was a less than responsible man and often performed idle tasks instead of doing work. He had been married before but his wife had passed on and now the only woman companion he had was the Duchess. She was his personal advisor who tried her hardest to keep the rebellious king in line and was fairly successful in her duties. The king had only one daughter, a spoiled girl who spent most of her free time exploring the palace and harassing the help.

The king looked at the pile of papers next to his throne, resting on a gilded table, and sighed.

"Why am I always stuck doing so much work?" He said to no one in particular. "I'm the king for the love of God! Can't I just shove this to someone under me?"

"I'm afraid not your majesty." The Duchess said calmly. "These papers require your signature and seal."

The king rapped a finger on the arm of his throne and stared out the window, apparently deep in thought. Suddenly, he turned back to the Duchess and said, "What day is it?"

"It's the twenty fifth sir." She said.

The king jumped up and started tearing through the stacks of papers on his table, looking for something. The Duchess sighed as the room was filled flying paper. Finally he found what he was looking for: a calendar. He ran a finger over it until he stopped on a Saturday of this same week. He whispered, "Can it be?"

He yelled out in pleasure and tossed the calendar into the air dancing wildly throughout the throne room. He grabbed the Duchess by the arms and said, "Riza do you know what this means?"

Being shocked by the king's sudden joyous mood she could only shake her head. The king danced her around saying, "Saturday is Winry's eighteenth birthday! She's finally legal! We can finally get rid of her!"

It was common knowledge around the kingdom that the king was disappointed in his daughter. He had never wanted a kid in the first place and so avoided her at all costs. He had patiently waited for her to turn eighteen so she could be married off to a prince and be moved out of the kingdom. The king eventually settled down and sat back on his throne. He grabbed a pen and a blank piece of paper. He turned to Riza and said, "How quickly can we declare a royal ball?"

Riza did a few quick calculations in her head and said, "If we concentrate all our messengers solely on delivering invitations and accommodate time for guests to arrive we can have it by this Saturday."

The king quickly scribbled something down and handed to Riza.

"Deliver this to be transcribed a thousand times and distribute them all over the kingdom! We're getting rid of her as soon as possible!"

Riza bowed and left to carry out the kings orders. Before the door could even close behind Riza, they were thrown open by the princess herself. She was holding two folds of her dress in her hands, the dress being too big to drag on the floor and ran into the room. Her hair was tied back into a French braid and she was yelling, "Daddy! Daddy!"

The king covered his eyes with a hand and said, "What is it Winry?"

Winry stopped in front of her father, her lips trembling and said, "My eighteenth birthday is this Saturday and no one is preparing anything for me! I want my presents, I want my cake, I want the people who are pretending to be my friends to get over here!"

The king muttered something under his breath before saying, "I've just sent the order to have your party prepared for Saturday."

Winry's face lit up and she rushed over and gave her father a hug.

"Oh thank you Daddy! I'm going to go shopping and pick up a new dress!"

The king watched her leave and said, "I swear, I will get that girl out of my kingdom or my name isn't Roy Mustang!"

At this point all the homunculi, even Sloth and Pride, all burst out laughing at these ludicrous descriptions. Each of the homunculi had met Winry at least once and seeing her portrayed in such a way was something they could all appreciate.

"Oh, that is too funny!" Envy said, sitting up. "For once I'm actually enjoying this story!"

"Well I can't blame the "king" for wanting to get rid of her that's for sure." Lust said.

"Can I eat her?" Gluttony said, not paying attention to anything besides, "get rid of her".

Everyone just ignored him and Wrath bounced up and down in his bed yelling, "Keep reading, keep reading!"

Sloth, still giggling to herself, turned to the next chapter.

And there we go. Expect the next chapter up in a few days. Thanks again for the reviews, I hope you keep enjoying!


	11. Chores and Troubles

My teachers have really been laying on the homework so I haven't had much time to type. But thank you all for your reviews; it's good to see that you're enjoying this. Here's the next chapter.

It took Scar hours to sweep the floors and clean the windows so it was already lunch by the time he was finished. Just as he was finishing making soup and sandwiches for Dante, Greed, and Envy, they all burst into the kitchen carrying bags, Dante chattering excitedly.

"This is it boys, the moment I've been waiting for! The princess is turning eighteen and will marry within the month! This royal ball proves it!"

Greed and Envy didn't look too pleased with Dante as they lugged several bags towards their rooms. Of course, Envy had enough time to kick over the plate of sandwiches before disappearing upstairs. Scar remade the sandwiches and was setting the food on the table when a flyer caught his eye. It was torn near the top where Dante had obviously ripped it off of a post. It said: By order of King Roy Mustang, his royal majesty, as proclaimed by the Duchess Riza Hawkeye, advisor to his royal majesty, a royal ball is forthwith planned for this coming Saturday. All available men and their families are invited to attend.

Scar snorted at this and left to finish cleaning. What nonsense…a royal ball indeed. Anyone with a brain could see this was an attempt by the king to push his daughter off onto someone else. No doubt Dante, with her ambitions, was planning on getting Greed or Envy married to her so she could be in a position of power when they took over as King and Queen. The kingdom would be better off destroyed then ruled by her…

All thoughts of royal balls and fiendish plots were removed from his mind as Scar set about the other multiple tasks he had to complete. Some went fast, others went slow, and Scar had just barely finished trimming the hedges when Dante rang the dinner bell. He prepared dinner and served it to his step family.

"Alright boys, we only have two days before the royal ball. We got a good head start on the shopping but we'll have to go out and buy a few more things tomorrow. Now, only one of you is going to get married to the princess so you both must look presentable."

She eyed Envy's clothes disdainfully before continuing, "And you must be on your best behavior. If I find you making one mistake, even one mistake, you won't live to see another day!"

They ate in silence for a few minutes to let that statement sink in. Dante, smiling, wiped her mouth with a corner of her napkin and said, "Now Greed, since you're taller, stronger, and better looking than Envy you'll be in a prime position to sweep the princess off her feet."

Envy angrily knocked over his glass as he said, "And just what the hell makes him so wonderful?"

Dante turned her cold eyes on Envy and said, "He doesn't dress like a dime store whore, he doesn't let his hair grow so long and filthy that is resembles a palm tree, and he's not gender confused!"

"WHAT?!?!?" Envy (outside the story) screamed. "GENDER CONFUSED?!?!?!? I'll tear whoever wrote this story in half!"

Greed smacked his head and said, "Shut up you. That book just said what everyone else was thinking."

"He's right." Lust said.

"I have to agree." Pride said, nodding.

"Envy looks like a girl!" Wrath chanted, laughing.

Gluttony giggled too, repeating what Wrath chanted happily.

Envy looked ready to kill everyone in the room at least once. Forseeing such an event, Sloth quickly turned to the next page and said, "Continuing with the story…"

Before she could say anymore Envy snatched the book out of her heads and opened the window. Everyone jumped up just as he pulled his arm back to chuck the thing as far out into the woods as he could. The other homunculi, especially Wrath, dog piled on top of Envy and wrestled the book from his hands. In the blink of an eye, Pride stabbed sword after sword into the red dots on Envy's body, subduing him and pinning him to the wall.

"Now, you can stay there until you can conduct yourself like a civilized being."

Envy muttered darkly, throwing curses and threats at the others. They all ignored him and Sloth continued reading.

Envy (in the story) muttered but dared not say anything. He feared the closet. Greed's expression was hard to read. At one end of the spectrum, he loved the idea of marrying into so much wealth, power, and fame. But to be married would mean being shackled to one woman. One spoiled, selfish, and no doubt domineering woman. Regardless of his feelings, however, Dante was going to use him. Envy glanced at Scar and grinned.

"Why not use Scar? I'm sure the princess would love him."

Scar didn't say anything. The last thing he wanted was to be with that spoiled brat. Dante scoffed at Envy and said, "Don't be foolish Envy. No girl in her right mind would ever want to be with him."

They finished the meal in silence and Scar collected and washed the dishes. It was only six o' clock so Scar continued his chores and Envy went into his room to do God knows what, Dante sat in her library reading a strange book full of obscure diagrams. Dante's library was another oddity. Very few people had ever been in Dante's mansion but the few that had had been amazed by the books in Dante's library. It wasn't the amount of books that amazed them, but the type. Of the few that had been inside the library only one had enough courage to actually open one of the books. The writing was in a strange language and the diagrams were all of circles in varying shapes. Seeing these things intensified the rumors that Dante was a witch. It would explain her never aging sons and her mysterious nature.

By the time Scar was finished with his chores it was time for bed. He pulled back the covers of his step mother's bed just as she entered her bedroom, combing her short hair back, dressed in white satin nightgown. She smiled at Scar and said, "Thank you Scar dear. I knew I was lucky when I found you on my doorstep."

She smirked at him and crawled under the covers. She sat up and continued smiling at him until he left. She was always saying things like that. Every night, no matter how inappropriate it may seem, she made a remark about him being an orphan, or not belonging, or being beneath her and her "real" sons. Scar was, by and large, used to it, but sometimes it dug a little too deep. What he really wanted was a way out of this predicament. Scar changed into his pajamas, which consisted of a pair of pants, and laid on his pathetic excuse for a bed. He prayed once more for guidance, strength, and the eventual smoting of his awful step family before falling asleep.

"Speaking of sleep." Sloth said, looking up from the book. "Isn't it about time for you to sleep Wrath?"

Wrath shook his head furiously, his long hair whipping from side to side. "I'm not even close to being tired yet!"

It was true. His eyes were wide and his expression eager. The other homunculi were also looking wide awake and ready for the rest of the story. Pride looked a little fatigued but that was to be expected. He did run an entire country after all. Envy appeared to be indifferent but she knew he was listening. She wondered how long Pride would keep him up there before he let him down. Suddenly another thought ran through her mind. Dante. Where was she? It wasn't all that late, ten o' clock at most, so where was she? This didn't seem like a book she meant the homunculi to see…

Sloth turned to the next chapter. Well, they'd just have to wait and see.

There we go. The end of another chapter. If anyone wants to hear more Twisted Tales, drop a suggestion to me in a review or e-mail and I'll make it into a story! I'll keep writing Twisted Tales as long as people want to read them.


	12. The Royal Ball

Thank you everyone for your reviews and your suggestions. I've decided what the next Twisted Tale is going to and will announce it at the end of this tale. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

The next two days passed rather uneventfully. Dante schooled Greed and Envy in manners, ways to woo a woman, and warned them to use their formal names on threat of the closet. Greed and Envy alternately listened to Dante and snubbed her to go do whatever they wanted. Scar continued to clean and do chores while still constantly praying for something, anything to come and lay waste to his step family. Finally, the day of the ball arrived. At lunch Dante went over their game plan one more time.

"The ball begins at six o'clock sharp and goes until just after midnight. In the first three hours Envy will warm up the princess with witty banter and if she goes for him mores the better. If he fails at the end of three hours Greed will be _charming_." She said charming with more than a hint of a threat. "It should only take three hours or less before the princess is swooning for Greed. Now everyone knows the King is itching to be rid of the princess so the wedding will take place fairly soon after the ball. Once you're married it'll only be a matter of time before the King has a tragic accident like my late husband and Greed and the princess will take over ruling the kingdom."

She smiled as she said this. Manipulating Greed might prove difficult, but Dante knew she could handle him. Greed and Envy didn't seem to care at all about what Dante was saying. Envy scowled and pushed his lunch around with his fork and Greed leaned back in his chair and stared off into space. Dante frowned and rapped her fork against her plate. The clang made them both look at her.

"You two better not screw this up!" She snarled, suddenly looking more like a wolf than a woman. "I've waited too long for an opportunity like this to get fowled up by your rotten attitudes! I swear one mistake and the closet will be the least of your worries!"

Dante's sons didn't show it, but they were nervous. They both wanted to live to accomplish their own goals and nodded quickly. Dante calmed down and smoothed out the napkin on her lap absently.

"Well then I guess that's everything." She stood up to leave.

"But what about him?" Envy asked jerking a thumb in Scar's direction.

"What about him?" Dante replied, arching an eyebrow.

"He means what's he going to be doing." Greed said, balancing his fork on one finger.

Dante smirked and said, "He's going to be far too busy with chores to worry about a ball."

With that, she hoisted her skirts and left to prepare for the ball. It took the rest of the afternoon for Scar to get Greed and Envy ready while Dante readied herself. It took a lot of work and a lot of brushing but Scar managed to get Envy into a tuxedo and brush and pull his hair back into a ponytail. Envy looked disgusted with what he was wearing but didn't say anything. He had put up one hell of a struggle though. Greed looked far more presentable than Envy so it took half as long to get him ready. Soon he too was in a tuxedo his hair unchanged since Dante thought it gave him a more rugged look to be messier. Half an hour before the ball was too begin Dante gathered everyone into the entrance hall and looked them over. She nodded satisfied with Envy and ripped the shades off of Greed's face before turning to the door and saying, "Let's go."

Dante herself had pulled all the stops in her outfit. It was a powder blue dress with shoulder puffs and a white scarf tucked elegantly into her collar. She had bought a sparkling little tiara to wear especially for the occasion. After she had ushered Greed and Envy into the carriage, she turned to Scar and said, "Have your chores finished by ten o' clock so you can prepare a short evening tea for us so we can discuss the ball."

With that, she stepped into the carriage, closed the door, and signaled the driver to get moving. Scar didn't bother watching them for long. He still had a long way to go before his chores were done. He scrubbed and swept and washed until it was six thirty. He gathered up all the chimney ash and went out into the back yard to dump it into the fire pit. He quickly disposed of the ash and was about to go back inside when a scream suddenly filled the air. It sounded far away at first, but got louder and louder until it sounded like it was coming from right above him! He looked up and was shocked to see a woman falling from the sky! She landed with a thump on top of the ash he had just dropped into the fire pit. She sputtered and coughed, her face smudged with ash. Scar didn't quite know what to do in a situation like this. Fortunately, he didn't have to do anything because the woman slowly stood up and dusted off her plain green sweater before wiping her glasses clean. She cleared out her throat and said, "Good evening Mr. Scar! I am Sheska and I've come to help you!"

"Were you sent by Ishbala?"

"Wha--?"

"You fell from the sky."

"Oh! Right, well you could say that I suppose. I'm your Fairy Godmother and I've come to make your dreams come true!"

Scar dropped to his knees and said, "Thank you oh blessed Ishbala for sending an emissary to help me."

Sheska looked a little uncomfortable and coughed to get his attention. He stood back up and she said, "Now, I'm going to use this magic wand," She pulled out a thin white stick. "to send you to the royal ball tonight."

Scar glowered at her and said, "I thought you were supposed to help me."

Sheska blanched and said, "I-I-I am helping you!"

"The last thing I want to do is go to that ball." He said. "What I want to get out of here!"

"Well I'm sorry but I've got my orders."

"Orders?"

"Well sure! Up there." She pointed up. "They tell me who needs help, what they need help with, and I go and help them. So it's ball or nothing I'm afraid."

Scar sighed and said, "Fine. Who am I to deny a gift from God?"

"Great!" Sheska said. She cleared her throat and tapped her wand against the bottom of her shoe. A few sparks flew out of it before she brought it up to her face and started waving it around.

"Now how did that spell go? Bippity something I think…Oh shoot!"

She pulled out a small book and flipped through the pages. She ran a finger down one column and said, "Aha! Here it is!"

She waved the wand around again and said, "Bippity Boppity Boo!"

She pointed the wand at a nearby pumpkin. Silver sparkles flew out of the wand and wrapped around the pumpkin and its vines. The pumpkin swelled, turned silver, and transformed into a silver carriage. The vines twisted into golden wheels and a seat for the driver. Sheska then directed her want at some nearby mice and turned them into four white horses before pointing her wand at two lizards turning them into a footman and a driver. Her eyes gleaming in triumph she pointed her wand at Scar who was enveloped in a waterfall of silver sparkles. Once the sparkles dissipated he was wearing a silver ball gown with high heeled slippers made entirely of glass. He glared at Sheska who squealed in disappointment.

"I'm so sorry! This is the kind of thing I usually do for women! I'll fix it don't worry!"

Sheska desperately waved the wand and Scar's dress turned into a tuxedo with a white rose in the lapel and his glass slippers were turned into normal shoes. Sheska sighed in relief as she saw she succeeded. She ran up to him and said, "Now remember the magic only lasts until midnight! You've got to do your thing at that ball and get out before the stroke of midnight or the magic will disappear and you'll be back in your work dress, sitting on a pumpkin, surrounded by vermin!"

Scar nodded to indicate he understood and climbed into the carriage. The driver flicked the reins and the carriage trundled off towards the castle. They hadn't gotten a mile down the road before Sheska came running up to the carriage shouting, "Wait! There's something I forgot to tell you Mr. Scar!" She tripped and landed on her face, skidding across the dirt road. The carriage stopped and Sheska ran up to the window on the door and said, "There's a tattoo on your right arm. When that tattoo starts to run down onto your fingers, midnight is approaching. It'll fall off soon after that, and turn into a circle. Good luck!"

The carriage started moving again and Sheska disappeared from sight. Scar peered out the window and saw the castle rising in the distance.

As Scar hurried towards the ball, Dante, Envy and Greed were just arriving. Dante curtsied to the noble at the door and took his hand. Greed and Envy just glared at whoever looked at them. Whispers exploded behind their backs, everyone wondering what the princess would think of the two boys. The noble left Dante in the ballroom to offer his hand to the next female guest. Dante scanned the room carefully, looking for the princess. She was still at her throne, sitting next to the king with the Duchess just behind the king, a clipboard in her hands. She was scanning the ballroom and writing something down. The king's eyes were whipping across the room, searching out possible suitors for his daughter. The princess was sitting with one leg crossed, her head resting on her hand as she gazed into space, bored. The royal family was dressed in formal attire including their crowns. The Duchess made one more note on her clipboard before bending down and whispering something in the king's ear. He nodded a few times and whispered something back before standing up and calling for attention. Once everyone had quieted down he said, "Welcome all available men and families to the royal ball in honor of my beautiful daughter Winry who just turned eighteen. Yes, that's right. Eighteen! As in, she's eligible please someone marry her!"

Winry wasn't paying attention and didn't notice her father's plaintive plea. He continued, "The ball will continue until midnight, so please enjoy yourselves and make sure you have a chance to meet my daughter!"

He signaled the band which began to play.

"Okay." Dante said shoving Envy forward. "Go and make conversation with her!"

Envy nearly tripped as Dante shoved rather forcefully. He swiftly made his way towards Winry, dodging around the other guests. Just as he was about to make it to Winry, someone else walked up to her and said, "Would you care to dance princess?"

Winry smiled politely and said, "How rich are you?"

The man looked surprised and said, "Uh, not very. Why?"

"Yeah, you're not worth my time." She pushed him aside. "I'm only interested in men who can support my extremely costly lifestyle. If you don't have money, you're out of luck, honey."

Envy quickly stepped in front of her as she walked past and said, "Hello there young lady. What do you say we ditch this chump and go talk over there?"

"Well…" Winry looked skeptical.

"I'm extremely wealthy." Envy said quickly.

"Sold!" Winry grabbed Envy's arm and walked with him towards the refreshments table.

And so Envy engaged Winry in witty banter. Envy behaved, knowing full well that Dante was watching him somewhere. For three hours straight he did his best to charm Winry who laughed at his jokes, sighed at his romantic interludes, and danced with him. Finally, at nine o' clock, Winry spotted Greed and said, "Would you excuse me?"

She lifted up her skirts and ran towards Greed who grinned at Envy. Envy flipped him off before turning around and coming face to face with Dante.

"Well?" She said.

"Well what?"

"How did it go?"

"That damn girl is insatiable! For three straight hours I talked, danced, and flattered her, but nothing! Nothing came of it whatsoever."

Dante bit her thumb nail nervously. "This may be harder than I thought."

Unbeknownst to both Dante and Envy, Scar had arrived at the ball and was standing near the door, hands in his pockets, looking around. This was the first time he'd been at a party like this and he wasn't very impressed. It was just a bunch of people standing around talking about nothing while single men clambered to be with Winry. He noticed his step brother Greed commanding her attention. For a brief moment Winry looked over by Scar and met his eyes. She did a double take and stared at Scar. He thought, for the briefest of moments, her eyes had turned into dollar signs. She waved her hand absently at Greed, saying something Scar couldn't hear before rushing over to him. She grabbed onto his arm and said, "Hello there. I don't think I've ever seen you around. May I ask your name?"

Scar didn't say anything. He tried to shake Winry off his arm but she had a death grip. Finally he sighed and said, "I don't have a name. My family just call me Scar."

"Oooh, that sounds dangerous." Winry said, pulling him towards the dance floor. "Come dance with me!"

Scar felt himself being dragged onto the dance floor. Winry forced his left hand onto her hip and took his right hand in hers. They began to revolve around the dance floor, gracefully. Greed, Envy, and Dante watched.

"Just what the hell is Scar doing here?" Envy yelled.

"And where did he get that tuxedo?" Greed asked.

"He probably stole it from your closet." Envy said.

Dante didn't say anything. She watched as her adopted son danced, her eyes cold with hatred. She didn't know how Scar had gotten here, but he was ruining her carefully laid plans. Of all her sons Scar would the hardest to manipulate behind the scenes. He would resist her and she would lose her power before she gained it. She turned and walked towards the door. Envy and Greed followed her. As soon as they were in their carriage she said, "I dearly hope Scar enjoys himself tonight, because when he gets home he'll find a little surprise waiting for him."

"A surprise eh?" Envy said from the wall. "This should be good!"

"What surprise?" Gluttony asked Lust, a confused look in his eye.

Lust rubbed his head and said, "It's nothing for you I'm afraid."

Gluttony picked at the carpet, a sad look on his face.

"Thank God I didn't end up marrying that brat." Greed said, sitting back.

"Col. Mustang as King." Pride said, shaking his head. "That's a government that won't get ahead."

"Not everyone can run a perfect government." Sloth said, turning to the next chapter. "Hmm…looks like we're coming to the last chapter of this story."

"Awww!" Wrath said disappointed. "But I'm not tired!"

"Well, we'll see how tired you are after the story." Sloth said, beginning to read the last chapter.

And that's brings this chapter to a close. The last chapter of this Tale will be up sometime soon along with the announcement of the next Tale.


	13. The Happy EndingStill Not Tired

Here we go! The final part of Scar's Cinderella adventure! At the end of this chapter I'll also reveal my next Twisted Tale! Enjoy!

Winry had obviously found someone she liked. She had a death grip on his arm and didn't let him go, forcing him to dance, to fetch her snacks and punch, and to talk endlessly about her shopping trips. But as Scar suffered, Roy rejoiced! He was carefully watching everything his daughter was doing. He grinned and rubbed his hands together, motioning to Hawkeye. She bent down and listened.

"Hawkeye, I want you to find out who that man is. After that, make up the wedding invitations and start preparations for the wedding."

"Wedding sir?"

"Just look at those two! They're obviously in love!"

Riza looked and saw that Winry at least looked happy.

"I don't know sir. That man doesn't look to happy."

"Who cares how he looks? If Winry loves him, he's going to marry her! Even if I have to force him!"

Riza sighed and quickly jotted down Roy's instructions.

Finally, as if sent by God, the clock started chiming midnight. Scar knew he had to leave or else his cover would be blown and he'd have to suffer the consequences of his family so he shook Winry off and ran for the doors.

"Hey! Come back here!" she shouted angrily, chasing after him.

Roy's eye twitched as he saw Scar running. He quickly stood up and ran to find Riza.

Scar flew down the steps, a strange burning sensation running down his right arm. He threw open the carriage door and jumped inside yelling, "Go!"

He looked out the window and saw Winry running down the steps. He sighed in relief. The nightmare was finally over. Winry huffed as she saw Scar's carriage escaping her. She was about to run back inside the palace to complain when she saw a strange circle on the ground. It looked like it was written in black ink, like it used to be a tattoo or something that fell off of someone. She bent down and touched it. It glowed bright red and came free from the pavement, like it was a piece of metalwork. She held the strange circle in her hands and rushed back into the palace to show it to her father.

Luckily for Scar the magic didn't run out until he was in his own front yard. In a flash he was sitting on a pumpkin with a lizard and mice running around. He stood up and kicked the pumpkin into the neighbor's yard so it wouldn't be found and went inside his house. He had barely taken three steps before a voice said, "Hello Scar."

Scar turned to his right and saw Dante sitting in a large armchair, a book open in her lap. The lamp she was reading by was emitting a red glow. She looked up and the shadows that crossed her face made it difficult to read her expression. He waited to see what she would say.

"Did you manage to finish all your chores dear?"

He nodded.

"That's strange. I didn't know you'd have so much time on your hands. You managed to finish all your chores and make an appearance at the royal ball."

Before Scar could react Envy and Greed leapt out of the shadows and pinned him to the ground. No matter how hard he struggled, Envy and Greed were too strong and he was quickly tied up and gagged. Dante stepped up to him and kicked him hard across the face. Her expression was terrible as she said, "Take him to that filthy hovel he calls a room and lock him up. Let's see how long he lasts with no food or water."

Dante's sons laughed as they heard this and eagerly took Scar to his room and locked the door.

The next day notices were set up all over the kingdom reading as thus: By order of the King Roy Mustang all citizens that have information on the whereabouts of a man with dark skin, red eyes, and an X-shaped scar on his forehead is hereby ordered to relate said information directly to the palace.

Everyone in Dante's neighborhood knew that Scar was somewhere inside the mansion. Dante, Frederick, and William hadn't been seen since the night of the royal ball and Scar hadn't been seen going about the yard on his daily chores. They had thought that Dante and her sons had done something to their step relation but they were all too afraid to ask or do anything about it. So everyone kept quiet. Lucky for Scar, Roy was extremely impatient and had sent the Duchess Riza out to actively search for the scarred man. She was out all day, going from house to house, asking questions and tirelessly searching for Scar. Finally, she came to Dante's mansion. She knocked on the door and waited. No one answered. She knocked again, harder. This time the door cracked open and an eye peered out at her.

"What the hell do you want?" Envy asked petulantly.

"By order of the King Roy Mustang I've been sent to search the entire kingdom for a man with dark skin, red eyes, and an X-shaped scar on his forehead. Do you have any knowledge of his whereabouts?"

"No, I don't. Now kindly leave us the hell alone."

He slammed the door in her face. Riza was no fool. She knew they were hiding something. She cocked her gun and kicked the door down. Envy turned slowly around and said, "What is your problem?"

"I have the feeling you're not telling me something." She held up a search warrant and said, "By order of the King Roy Mustang, I'm allowed to search any and all suspicious properties."

Envy was about to grab her and show her the door forcefully when Dante appeared. She smiled at Envy and said, "Please don't be rude to our guest William. We have nothing to hide after all. Now be a dear and go upstairs and help Frederick with his _chore_."

Envy took the hint and went upstairs to guard Scar. Riza carefully looked over the entire house but couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. Dante followed her, giving a tour of the mansion. Finally, the only room left was the upstairs room at the end of the hall that Envy and Greed were standing in front of.

"What's in that room?" Riza asked Dante.

"That's just a holding room for my pets. They are very aggressive to strangers and so I have to keep them locked up. Occasionally they get through the door and William and Frederick are there to stop them."

Riza walked up to the door and knocked on it. Dante grabbed her hand and said, "I wouldn't do that. It aggravates them."

Riza shook her hand off and continued knocking shouting, "Is anyone in there?"

A voice called back, "I'm being held here against my will! Open the door!"

Riza gave Dante a cold look and kicked the door in before she could protest. Riza saw Scar, bound on the floor, the gag lying next to him. She quickly untied him and pulled out the metal circle. She pressed it against his left arm and in a flash of red light it melted into ink and imprinted itself on Scar's arm. Riza nodded and said, "By order of King Roy Mustang you are officially betrothed to the Princess Winry to be married tomorrow at dawn."

"What?" Scar yelled out. "I'm not marrying that bratty princess!"

"I'm sorry to say you don't have much choice in the matter." Riza said calmly.

Scar's eyes darted left and right as he looked for a place he might be able to escape from. His arm glowed red and he suddenly knew what he could do. He turned toward the window and blasted it apart with his right arm. He jumped through the open hole and ran for the edge of the kingdom, Riza in pursuit. Dante grabbed her sons arms and said, "We're getting out of here. There's more than one kingdom in this world!"

The evil stepfamily disappeared within a few minutes, the mansion almost magically empty.

Scar barely managed to make it to the edge of the kingdom, but he managed to elude Riza. He leaned against a fence, breathing heavily.

"Looks like you're a wanted man."

Scar snapped his head up and stared. A beautiful woman with pale skin and long black hair was sitting on a fence post with her legs crossed. Her eyes were curiously colored with the pupil slit like a cats very much like his stepbrothers. Also like his stepbrothers, she was dressed all in black.

"Who are you?" Scar asked.

"I've long since forgotten my name, or perhaps I cast it aside. Regardless, people call me Lust now."

"Where do you come from?"

"A land far away from here."

"Take me there."

Lust smiled and said, "Don't you have family back there?"

"There's no one in that kingdom worth saving."

Lust jumped down from the fence and said, "Then let's go. We don't want you to be found."

Scar, finally feeling like something was going right, followed Lust as she walked down the road.

Riza never did find Scar and reported as much to Roy. Roy thought about what had to be done and yelled out, "Havoc! Get in here!"

Havoc quickly rushed in and said, "You called Your Majesty?"

"You're going to marry the princess."

"WHAT?!??!?"

Winry instantly glomped his arm and said, "Great! I get to go shopping for a wedding dress after all!"

Havoc, tears streaming down his face, was forcibly dragged off towards the nearest market.

"The End." Sloth said.

"At least I'm not dead." Greed said, standing up. "I don't have any more time to waste here."

He slipped his shades on and waved to his colleagues.

"Alright Wrath. Bedtime." Sloth said, standing up as well.

"No, no, no, no, no! I'm not tired yet!"

"Wrath dear, it's almost midnight. You really need to go to sleep."

Wrath shook his head so forcibly his hair nearly smacked Gluttony in the face.

"Oh just tell him another story." Lust said, smiling at the ending of the last story.

Sloth looked at Wrath's eager face and sighed. "Alright. One more story."

Envy glanced down at the book as Sloth opened it to a likely story. His eyes widened as he read the inscription beneath a very familiar looking boy in a picture.

"Quick! Someone let me down! I have to make a phone call!"

Pride stretched and said, "I'm going to bed as well. I've got to get up early in the morning. Good-night everyone."

Before he left he tore out the swords holding Envy to the wall. Envy fell onto the carpet and ran towards the nearest phone.

"What's this story called?" Gluttony asked.

"This story is called Sleeping Beauty." Sloth said.

Okay, that's all for now! Even though Pride and Greed are gone (He'll be back soon enough anyway) Envy's making a call for a certain guest to listen to the next story. Who will it be? All will be revealed in the next chapter.


	14. One More Story, Then Bed!

Here begins the last entry into Dante's Twisted Fairytales, at least for now. I hoped you all enjoyed reading them. Please enjoy this last story as much as the others.

"Before you start can I get a glass of water mommy?" Wrath asked politely.

Sloth nodded, smiling, and left for the kitchen. When she got to the kitchen she grabbed one of the glasses out of a nearby cupboard and filled it with ice water from a pitched they kept in the refrigerator at all times. She was just putting the pitcher back on the top shelf when she heard someone else enter the room. She turned and saw Dante walk in. She sighed and sat at the table, looking at Sloth.

"It's been a long night Sloth. Can you make me a hot drink before I go to bed?"

Sloth nodded and said, "What have you been up doing all this time?"

Dante sat up and said, "I was planning on going to bed early tonight but I was in the library looking for a particular book to read when I found it missing! I've been searching the mansion ever since, but it's no where in sight! I'm going to continue looking for it tomorrow."

Sloth nearly dropped the kettle when she heard Dante say this. With a slightly shaking hand she poured the hot water over a small assortment of tea leaves. She passed the cup to Dante who breathed in the warm fumes and said, "This could use a little lemon. I think we still have one in the crisper."

Sloth retrieved the lemon and cut a slice off of it. She casually asked, "What was the book about?"

Dante looked slightly embarrassed and said, "It was a book of old stories. They are purely fictional of course, though I suppose the names might seem familiar if someone in this house were to read it."

Sloth fixed the lemon wedge on the edge of the cup and said, "You don't suppose someone took it do you?"

Dante fixed Sloth with a look of pure venom. "If I ever found anyone in possession of that book I would weave them into a web of nightmares so profound they would beg for death!"

Sloth gulped slightly. If she was this crazy over the book she should've had it under lock and key. Dante smiled her fake sweet smile and said, "Thank you for your time Sloth. Good-night."

Dante moved quickly but carefully towards her room. Sloth waited until she heard Dante's door close before falling into a chair in relief. This was a dangerous venture indeed. Dante could very well kill them all off for listening to those stories. She wouldn't exactly have a tough time replacing them. Sloth grabbed the glass of water and walked back towards Wrath's room. As she passed the front door she heard someone knocking. Wondering who on earth could possibly be at the door at this hour, Sloth opened the door. She gasped in surprise as she saw Edward Elric standing on their doorstep. He didn't look very happy to see her either. She quickly composed herself and said, "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I got a phone call a few minutes ago from Envy." Ed said. "He said there was something here that I would find "very interesting". I assumed that means he tried to kidnap someone again. So where is he?"

Before Sloth could answer Envy pushed her aside and said, "Well, well, well! If it isn't the Fullmetal pipsqueak! You sure got here fast."

A vein popped in Ed's forehead and he said, "I'll ignore the short joke only because I know you've got someone trapped in here. So who is it? It can't be Al; he's at Teacher's house. Is it Winry again?"

Envy crossed his arms and said, "You couldn't pay me to kidnap that nightmare again. I invited you here on a truce. No one in this mansion is going to try to kill you, and you won't try to kill us."

"You're crazier than I thought. Why should I stay here with you people?"

"Come on! What else could you be doing?"

"Sleeping! I'm outta here!"

"Oh no you don't! There's a book up there and you are going to listen to a story whether you want to or not!"

Envy grabbed Ed's arm and dragged him inside. Ed put up a fantastic struggle, managing to kick Envy into the wall. He was about to leave again when Sloth liquefied her arm and enclosed it over Ed's head. His air supply quickly diminishing, Ed stopped struggling and fell to his knees. Sloth removed her hold on him and he gasped, breathing hard. Envy picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder carrying him up to Wrath's room. He tossed him onto the floor next to Gluttony. The other homunculi in the room all began protesting.

"What is he doing here?" Lust asked.

"Can I eat him?" Gluttony asked.

"What the hell is he doing in my room?" Wrath growled, fingers itching to tear off Ed's limbs.

"Shut up all of you!" Envy yelled. "He's just here to listen to the story like the rest of us."

Lust's eyes narrowed and she said, "What are you up to?"

"Trust me. After this story's first chapter is over, Ed's going to be as murderous as me and Greed."

"This I've got to see." Lust said, smiling. She slapped Gluttony's hand as he reached for Ed's arm. Gluttony whimpered a little before grabbing a piece of broken furniture under Wrath's bed and chewing on it.

Wrath decided he'd let the fact that Ed was in his room go for now. He wanted to hear another story anyway. He could deal with Ed anytime. Sloth put the glass of water next to Wrath's bed and sat back down flipping the book to Sleeping Beauty. Her eyebrow arched as she saw the first picture.

"So that's why Envy wanted Ed to be here." Sloth thought. "This is going to get ugly."

Once upon a time in a faraway land, a kingdom was celebrating the birth of their princess. Everyone in the kingdom was invited to the palace to celebrate and everyone came because the king and queen were kind and generous. The palace was a magnificent structure and could easily hold everyone within the throne room. The baby princess was tucked carefully into a nearby baby bassinet placed under the skylight so a shaft of light shone down on her beautiful head. The herald, Jean Havoc, was reading the names of the visiting dignitaries as they approached the King and Queen.

"Next, from the kingdom in the west, King Bradley and his son Prince Roy Mustang."

"Hold on!" Ed said, interrupting Sloth. "Havoc, Mustang, Bradley? What are they doing in this story?"

"You didn't tell him about the book?" Lust said, eyebrow arching.

"Fine, if I have to explain everything to you people! Someone took some old fairy tales and replaced the characters with us."

"Really…" Ed said mischievously. "And what've you been so far?"

"Dead mostly." Sloth replied.

Ed sniggered as a vein popped in Envy's head. Sloth smiled and continued reading.

Bradley and Roy bowed respectfully to King Hughes and his Queen Gracia. He pushed the young prince forward towards the bassinet. He looked in at Princess Riza who was sitting quietly, staring hard at him. He didn't take too nicely to her cold stare. He dropped a box next to her and walked away without a second glance. Bradley and Roy bowed again and moved off to the side as the next three guests were arriving.

"Next, from the forests outside the kingdom, the three Good Fairies, Izumi, Alphonse, and Edward!"

Sloth closed her eyes and waited for the explosion.

"WHAT?!?!? WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS CRAP, MAKING ME A FAIRY OF ALL THINGS, I SWEAR IF I FIND THE ONE WHO WROTE THIS I WON'T STOP AT KILLING HIM!!!!!!"

Ed stopped ranting, breathing hard, murder written all over his expression. Envy was rolling on the floor laughing his head off, ecstatic to see someone besides himself getting tortured through that damnable book. Before anyone could say or do anything, a knock came from the door and Dante's voice asked, "What's going on in there?"

"Quick! Hide!" Envy grabbed Ed and shoved him into the closet. Sloth tucked the book out of sight just as the door opened and Dante appeared wearing a silk purple nightgown and holding a candle.

"What's going on in here?" She asked, looking around at all the gathered homunculi.

"I was just reading a bedtime story to Wrath," Sloth began. "When everyone decided to come and listen as well for some reason."

Dante raised her eyebrow and said, "I thought I heard Ed's voice. You aren't planning some kind of kidnapping scheme again are you?"

"Are you kidding?" Envy said, "I learned my lesson after the first time. Now if you don't mind, there's a story I want to finish to go away!"

Envy pushed Dante out the door and slammed it in her face. She nearly stumbled and dropped the candle, but managed to right herself and walked away with as much dignity as she could muster. It was too late for this.

The homunculi all waited with bated breath until Dante's footsteps died away. They all breathed a sigh of relief and Envy said, "Alright Ed you can come out of the closet now."

Ed kicked the door open and said, "Ha, ha, very funny."

Sloth cleared her throat and said, "If I may continue?"

Ed just glowered at her while Envy nodded with a grin.

The three Good Fairies all descended from the skylight on gossamer wings and landed in front of the king and queen. Izumi, being the leader of the three, stepped forward and said, "We've come to give a gift to the child. But according to the laws of magic we can only give her one gift each. No more, no less."

The king and queen nodded. They understood. Izumi approached the bassinet and clapped her hands.

"Dear child, I grant you the gift of beauty."

She placed her hands on the side of the bassinet and the whole thing, baby and all, glowed a red color. When the color faded, Izumi stepped back and Al went next.

He clapped his hands and said, "Sweet child, I grant you the gift of song."

He placed his hands on the side of the bassinet and the whole thing, baby and all, glowed a green color. When the color faded, Al stepped back and Ed went next.

"Okay, let's see…what should I give…"

"Brother, I thought you said you were prepared." Alphonse said, sighing.

"Shut up!" Ed said irritably. "I'm always prepared! I just haven't decided which gift would be better!"

"Would you two stop bickering and just get on with it?" Izumi said.

"Alright, alright. I'll give the kid, the gift of…"

Before he could finish saying what you would give, the doors to the castle blew open and all the candles were extinguished leaving the hall in total darkness. A strange green orb floated in through the door and materialized into a woman in the middle of the room. The guests all moved away from her as fast as they could. A small, raggedy looking raven landed on her shoulder. She was dressed all in black and was holding a staff with a glowing green orb on it. Her eyes traveled over the room before settling on the king and queen.

"Well, well, well. What's going on here? I left my mountain mansion today hoping to see the three Good Fairies only to find them missing. And what's more, an invitation was on the table. You can imagine my consternation when I discovered it was to the dear princess's birthday. I, of course, forgive you for forgetting my invitation your majesties."

She bowed mockingly.

"You weren't invited." Hughes said angrily.

"What?" she feigned surprise. "How awful!"

"What do you want here Dante?" Ed asked.

"To bestow a gift of my own of course." She threw up her arms and addressed the whole room. "Listen well, all of you!" She brought her staff down with a crack. "Beautiful and fair of voice the princess will be indeed. She'll be the envy of everyone in the kingdom. But…on the eve of her sixteenth birthday she will prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel, and die!"

Her staff exploded in poisonous green light and covered the baby and bassinet like an acid cloud. The queen ran to her baby and held her close.

"Seize her!" Hughes yelled out.

The guards tried to move in but Dante raised her arms and green fire erupted around her. "Stay back you fools!"

Once everyone was forced back she melted into the green orb and left the hall. The candles flickered back into life and light slowly filtered back into the hall.

"Oh Hughes, what are we going to do?" Gracia said sorrowfully.

Izumi stepped forward and said, "We may still be able to help. Edward hasn't given his gift yet."

"Then you can take off the curse?" Hughes asked hopefully.

"Well, no." She said. "Our power isn't as strong as Dante. She's an ancient witch that's been around for far longer than us and has much more power. But he can at least counter it a little bit."

Ed clapped his hands and said, "Alright. On your sixteenth birthday you will prick your finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel. But you won't die. Instead you'll just fall into a deep sleep until you're awakened by true love's kiss."

"Wow, that's really sweet brother." Al said. "I didn't think you were a romantic."

"I'm not!" Ed said. "That just seemed like the right thing to say."

"Regardless, that's the best we can do your majesties." Izumi said.

"Even so, I'm not taking any chances." Hughes said. "Before the night is upon us I want every spinning wheel in the country destroyed."

And so the guards gathered every spinning wheel and piled them up in the castle courtyard where everyone could watch them burn. Wanting to be of more service, the three Good Fairies were sitting together discussing what they could do.

To Be Continued…

I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I've been really busy lately doing other things. The next part will be up sometime later this week hopefully.


	15. Plot of the Good Fairies

Wow, how long has it been? Too long! For all of you who are still reading and still hoping for this to continue, wait no longer! Here is chapter two!

The three Good Fairies were all sitting in one of the many rooms of the castle. This one happened to be a library. Izumi was pacing around the room, her eyes far away in thought, Al was sitting and looking through a book, trying to glean an idea from the pages, and Ed was throwing out ideas.

"Okay, what if we turned her into something Dante wouldn't expect?" Ed said.

"Like what Brother?" Al said, looking up from the book.

"I don't know…like a flower?" he replied. "A flower can't prick its finger because it doesn't have one!"

Izumi sighed and said, "That would be a good idea, but what happens when Dante sends a frost?"

Ed drooped and said, "Right…hmm…"

Al closed the book he was reading with a snap and said, "This whole mess could be solved if we just found someone to shelter the baby for sixteen years away from Dante's gaze."

"But who could we trust?" Ed said. "Anyone could be under one of Dante's spells or even a willing participant in her plan!"

Izumi suddenly stopped pacing and said, "That's it!"

"Huh? What's it?" Ed asked, turning to Izumi.

She rushed over and grabbed both boys by the scruffs of their necks and dragged them into a closet. "I can't say out there! The walls have eyes and ears and we don't know who might be listening."

As soon as the closet door latched shut and a bright red light appeared from the cracks of the door, a raven flew from the window where it had been watching the three fairies. It slowly rose over the castle and winged towards Dante's mansion, high up in the dark mountains. Back in the closet, Izumi was explaining her idea to the other two.

"It's simple! We take the baby into the woods and live with her for sixteen years, bringing her up without her knowing of her royal heritage. After her sixteenth birthday passes we'll take her back to the castle and Dante's curse will never have a chance to be fulfilled!"

"That's great!" Al said.

"Yeah, but won't Dante notice if we and the baby suddenly disappear?" Ed said.

"We'll announce that we're going to be visiting another country to assist the king there, Xing or Drachmar or somewhere, and then disguise ourselves and take care of the baby."

She looked Ed and Al over and said, "I've just thought of the perfect disguise!"

She clapped her hands and placed one on each of the boy's shoulders. A bright red light flickered over their clothes and hair. When it stopped Ed said, "I don't think I'm going to like this…"

Al turned on a light and they both looked at each other…and screamed!

They were both wearing dresses, Al's green, Ed's blue, their hair was out of it's usual braid and ponytail and tied back with matching color scarves while their gloves were missing and their boots replaced with black dress shoes.

"What the hell is this?!?!?!?" Ed screamed in rage. "There is no way I'm going out in public looking like a woman!"

"YES YOU ARE!!!!" Izumi screamed at him. "This is the only way we can be sure Dante won't find us! She'll be looking for one woman and two boys and she'll only see three women if she comes after us! Now suck it up! You both have enough feminine features to get away with it!"

Al slapped his hands to his face, blushing and said, "I do?" in a sad voice.

As Ed comforted his brother, Izumi clapped her hands and turned her own clothes into a red dress with a red headscarf and black shoes, much like Ed and Al. She was about to open the closet and let them all out when she suddenly remembered something.

"There's just one more thing we have to be careful of." She said. "We can't use and magic whatsoever. If Dante ever sees the flashes of light she'll know where we are and come after us. She's very old, though she doesn't look it, and very tricky, so we must not use magic under any circumstances. Got it?"

"Of course." Al said.

"No way!" Ed said. "It's not enough for you to make me cross dress but now you want us to live like normal people? That's taking it a step too far!"

Izumi sighed and clapped her hands. She touched Ed on the shoulder and pulled something out of him. It was a small glowing blue orb. She dropped it into a bag as Ed asked, "What did you just do?"

"Since you can't be trusted…" She said with a sly smile. "I took your magic from you. You'll get it back after sixteen years have passed."

"No fair!" Ed said, leaping up and trying to grab the bag. "You can't do this!"

Izumi held the bag up out of Ed's reach and said, "Oh but I can! And since you're not quite tall enough to get this bag then I'm quite capable of getting away with it!"

She turned to Al as she held Ed back with one arm and said, "We're all going to give up our magic so come over here Al."

Al walked over and held back Ed as he continued to struggle to go after the bag. Izumi pulled out a glowing green orb from him, and a glowing red orb from herself and dropped them both into the bag with the orb of Ed's magic. Izumi opened the door and they all traveled down to the throne room to explain their plan to the King and Queen, Ed practically needing to be dragged.

"So what you're saying is…" Hughes asked after they had finished explaining their plan. "You want to take our daughter away from us, have the joy of raising her for yourself, and then bring her back only to get married and leave us forever?"

"More or less." The Fairies replied.

"I don't know Maes. It seems like a dangerous idea." Gracia said.

"We understand your feelings your majesty, but this is the only way to guarantee your daughter's safety. Dante will never expect us to make a move like this. But you must never come looking for us and you must never tell anyone where we or your daughter went. Dante has many spies lurking about." Izumi said.

Hughes and Gracia looked at each other and then Gracia said, "Very well. We'll permit it. Just be very careful."

"Don't worry your majesty." Izumi said. "Your daughter is in very good hands."

And so the three Fairies took little baby Riza away into the woods in the dead of night to go live in obscurity and isolation for her entire life until she was old enough to be married. Then they were going to drop the biggest bomb shell of her life on her and send her back to be married to a man she'd never even seen. But that was all sixteen years in the future.

It didn't take long for the three Fairies to reach the cottage in the woods and once they were there, it didn't take long to clean the place up and put Riza to bed. She was an unnaturally quiet girl putting up barely any fuss. That was a blessing, though. The last thing either of them wanted to deal with was a screaming baby. So the years swept by and the Fairies brought the child up to be kind, loving, and compassionate. And true to their gifts, she became beautiful, had a lovely voice, and, thus far, hadn't died. Yet, raising her in the country seemed to foster a kind of strange strictness not usually seen in children. She was very precise in her chores and duties and never was outspoken or disobedient. She was also a great disciplinarian. If Ed or Al did anything wrong, she kept them in line.

Soon, the eve of her sixteenth birthday was upon them and the black clouds of rage that hung over Dante's mansion proved that her attempts to find Riza were so far unsuccessful. She was pacing in her library pulling down books at random, flipping through them before tossing them behind her and going to the next book. Every book she tossed floated back to its place on the shelf so the air was full of flying books. Occasionally, she'd stop pacing to press her eye against a telescope and scan the kingdom, looking for any sign of the princess at all.

"Where could she have gone?" She yelled throwing a book against the wall. "All of my spells, all of my Homunculi, all of my tricks and curses and traps are all for nothing! Those cursed Fairies are behind this, I know they are! But what could they have done?"

She crossed her arms in front of her and twisted her hands into claws. All the flying books came crashing to the ground in a heap around her as her raven came flying down. As soon as it touched the ground it transformed back into its true form. Dante turned to the creature and said, "Ah, Envy! You've returned!"

"Oh come on!" Envy yelled out in Wrath's room. "Why, why, why am I always the stupid animal sidekick?"

"Because you've never done anything worthwhile in your entire life that would merit you being more than just a sidekick." Ed said, laughing at Envy.

"Laugh it up punk!" Envy said, turning to Ed. "At least I'm not cross dressing for sixteen years! Who's gender confused now, little man?"

Ed jumped up, mouth wide open to unleash a bevy of insults on Envy, when Lust reached up and stuffed an apple in his mouth.

"Yes, yes, we've all heard it a thousand times." She said. "But if you don't be quiet Dante is going to come down here and make us all dead."

Ed bit the apple in half and swallowed what he had in his mouth before tossing the rest out the window, but didn't say anything else. Sloth turned the page and continued reading.

"Have you found the princess yet?" Dante asked.

"Of course not!" Envy retorted. "We've been looking for almost sixteen years and no one has found even a hint of where she might be."

"And you've checked everywhere?" Dante pushed. "The forests, the mountains, the towns?"

"Nothing, nothing, and nothing." Envy said, sitting down in the nearest chair that wasn't covered in books.

Dante fumed and started pacing again. "She has to be somewhere in this kingdom. The Fairies must be doing something to hide her! But I haven't sensed them using any magic! If only they would perform even one spell they could be found!"

She turned to Envy and glared as she saw he had fallen asleep. She walked over to the chair and kicked it over, sending Envy sprawling to the floor.

"What the hells your problem?" He yelled at Dante.

"You can rest after you've found the princess you miserable excuse for a minion!" She grabbed him by his shirt and skort and ran to the window. Before Envy could change into anything to escape her grasp, she flung him out the window.

"Don't come back until you've found her!" She screamed as Envy transformed in midair and flew away towards the forests again.

And so, morning rose on the eve of the princess' sixteenth birthday. The sun shone in through the window into her room in the simple cottage. She never got to sleep very late as her dog, Black Hayate, always whined to be let out at this time. Riza rose and walked over to her closet, getting a white blouse and black skirt to wear for the day, deciding to let her long hair down instead of pulling it up into a bun like she usually did. Black Hayate, by this time, was scratching at the door constantly. Riza smiled and let him out, following him as he bounded down the stairs. The three Fairies quickly hid something inside a nearby basket as they heard the door open and Black Hayate come running down the stairs followed by Riza.

"Good morning Aunt Izumi, Aunt Alice, Aunt Edna." Riza said as she appeared in the small kitchen.

"Edna?!?!?" Ed and Envy both yelled out, one in disbelief, the other in mirth.

"What kind of sicko writes this crap?" Ed yelled, lunging for the book.

Sloth stood up and held it out of his reach. Ed jumped up and tried to grab it but was too short to do so. So he contented himself with stomping on Envy, knocking all the wind out of him.

"Doesn't anyone know who wrote that?" Ed asked the room at large.

"Sloth and Pride know but they aren't telling." Lust said. "We've all given up trying to find out except Envy and Greed."

"But I will find out who wrote it and make sure they're tortured slowly until death." Greed said, appearing in the doorway.

Everyone looked up at him as he tossed his shades into his room and sat down back in the room.

"That was quick." Lust said. "Usually you're gone for longer than that."

Greed raised an eyebrow at her and said, "What do you mean? I was gone for three hours. It's almost two o' clock in the morning."

"What?!?!?" Sloth said, grabbing Wrath's bedside clock. Sure enough, it was one fifty five a.m. "That's it! This is absolutely the last story before bed!"

Wrath sighed in disappointment, but knew when it was futile to argue with his "mother". Greed then asked, "So what story are we listening to this time? Whose name is being slandered today?"

"Mostly Ed's." Wrath said, laughing meanly at Edward.

Greed grinned and said, "And I just bet there's a picture to go with it!"

Sloth flipped back a few pages until they got to the one showing Ed, Al, and Izumi as Fairies, flying down into the castle. Greed burst out laughing which got Envy laughing again, which got everyone laughing eventually. Everyone except Ed. He clapped his hands, his face crimson with anger, and placed it on the floor. The entire floor erupted into many hands and grabbed all the Homunculi, holding them prisoner. This choked off all the laughing, but didn't keep them pinned down long. Lust extended her lances and cut herself free, Envy turned into a mouse and wiggled free, Greed broke free using his shield, Gluttony ate his way out, Wrath used alchemy to break free, and Sloth turned into water to slide out. She calmly picked up the book and said, "Now where was I?"

"Good morning Riza!" The three Fairies said, as they did every morning.

They watched Riza as she prepared food for Black Hayate after he returned from outside. Once he did she ran him through his morning exercises to get food, he performed them, he ate and she said, "So what are we planning to do today?"

"Actually…" Izumi said, "We were planning on staying inside today. But that shouldn't stop you from going out."

Riza thought about it and said, "Maybe I'll take Black Hayate for a walk through the woods. I haven't done that in awhile."

"Great idea!" Al said, pushing her out the door.

"Don't forget your gun! It's dangerous outside!" Ed said, forcing the gun in her hand.

"Take your time, come back in a few hours!" Izumi said, slamming the door in her face.

Riza stood just outside the cottage for a moment, bewildered at the sudden whirlwind of activity that had forced her out the door. She shrugged and called for Black Hayate. Her Aunts were strange people all right…

As soon as Riza was out of sight, the Fairies pulled out the paper they had been looking at and Izumi said, "We won't have much time if we want to get this party set up in time. Now here's the plan. We're going to need a new dress, a cake, and decorations."

"But where are we going to get all of that on such short notice?" Al asked.

"Easy!" Izumi said. "We're going to make it ourselves!"

"What?!?" Ed said. "We don't know anything about making things!"

The other two just stared at him.

"I mean…without magic." Ed said.

"We'll never know until we try!" Izumi said. "I'll make the dress of course!"

"And I'll bake the cake and make the decorations!" Al said happily.

"And what am I supposed to do?" Ed asked.

"You be the dummy." Izumi said, forcing him up onto a stool.

"I still think we should use the magic." Ed said, holding out his arms while Izumi threw material over him.

"Absolutely not!" Izumi said firmly. "We've come this far without magic and we're not going to ruin it now!"

Ed grumbled as Al started pulling down bowls and pots to make the cake with.

The Homunculi and Edward suddenly looked up as they heard footsteps coming towards the door.

Dante was coming!

And that's all for now! If anyone is still reading, I appreciate your patience. I'm afraid you're going to have to continue being patient, but this story will get done! I'm just really busy at the moment. Anyway, enjoy this and please review! But by now you all know where the flames are going…


	16. A Birthday Surprise

Yes, I know, thanks again for your patience. But I've finally got some more free time on my hands and I'll probably be able to have this thing done before I leave for college. But then again, who knows? Anyway, for those who are still reading, please enjoy the next chapter.

Everyone in Wrath's room began to scramble, trying to think of something to do before Dante came in. They didn't know what she heard, but when she came down and saw them all still awake with Ed in their midst it would be a bad scene. Throw in the book that she hadn't wanted anyone to see and they might as well throw themselves out the window. It would be a quicker death then whatever Dante might do. Before they could find a way to hide everything, however, the door opened! Everyone braced themselves for impact when….

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

That voice…it wasn't Dante's! Everyone turned to the door and saw Pride standing there dressed in a night shirt and night cap, holding a candle in one hand and his sword in another.

"What the hell do you think you're doing coming down here and scaring us all like that?!?!?" Envy yelled, jumping up and pointing accusingly at Pride.

"Do you sleep with that thing?" Greed asked, staring at the sword.

Pride stabbed him in the head for asking. Just as calmly, he turned and saw Ed.

"And what is Fullmetal doing here?" he asked.

Wrath, sick of all these interruptions, said, "What does it matter? He's here to hear a story, we're all here to hear a story, we want mommy to finish the damn story!"

"Wrath! Such language!" Sloth said. "I blame this on you, Envy."

"Me? Why me?!?"

"You're a bad influence."

"Hey, I'm not the one pretending he's my son! You've got a weirder relationship going on with him then I do!"

"Then why does he dress the same as you?" Lust asked. "That in and of itself is strange since you look like a hooker."

"Oh, look who's talking Miss "I can run in high heels"!" Envy said scathingly.

"Enough!" Pride said. "All this fighting is going to bring Dante down here if we're not careful. I don't think anyone wants that. Sloth, finish the story, and then everyone's going to bed, Fullmetal is going to go home, and we'll all go back to hating and killing each other in the morning."

Everyone agreed this the best thing to do, so Sloth opened the book and continued reading.

The kingdom that was relatively close by the Hughes' kingdom had prospered in the last sixteen years. No one was really worrying too much about the princess' curse or her current whereabouts. Prince Roy had grown to be such a handsome and flirtatious man that if the princess did get killed another one could easily be found for him. Sure, they might lose trade with the Hughes' kingdom, but they hadn't been doing as well in the last sixteen years. Grief and sadness shared by an entire kingdom did not induce a good work ethic, nor did it make it a pleasant place for tourism. As a result, the whole shebang had declined greatly. But all that would surely change with the coming safety of the princess and the marriage. Everyone was eagerly awaiting the princess' return and the marriage that would occur directly after midnight that very night. King Bradley had already met with Hughes and Gracia and had gotten everything ready. Roy would be at the altar at midnight, waiting for his bride to be to be delivered as it were. But for now, Roy was spending his last day of freedom before the irrevocable shackles of holy matrimony forced him to spend time with only one woman, who may or may not be a wicked shrew. He was hoping to see a beautiful woman walking alone in the forest so that he might court her, but so far he had had no luck. Not far from where he was currently resting was Riza and Black Hayate, walking on the path parallel to his own. With Roy resting and Riza walking, she pass right by him only able to, at best, glimpse him from between the trees. But fate was on their side, as Roy stopped staring gloomily into space and saw a glimpse of Riza. Thinking fast, he leapt up, made sure he was presentable, and darted between the trees, trying to get to her. Riza, for her part, heard some rustling in the bushes. Calmly, she pulled out her gun, loaded it and waited for a moment…

When the bushes rustled again she turned and unloaded five shots into the underbrush. She then yelled out, "Those were warning shots. Whoever is in there, come out now or the next one's going into your head."

She was surprised to see a rather well to do looking man step out of the wilderness. In her walks she had been accosted by countless vagabonds and a crazy cat lady, but she'd never seen someone quite so well dressed so far out in the sticks. He had his hands up and he said, "That was some pretty fancy shooting. You know, there's nothing sexier than a lady with a gun."

She answered by flicking open the barrel, reloading, and snapping it back to a loaded position, pointing directly between his eyes. "Who are you?"

Roy looked a little disgruntled. I mean, he was only the most eligible bachelor in both kingdoms. He supposed this woman must really live out in the wilderness if she didn't know who he was. He said, "I'm Roy. Let's just leave it at that. And may I ask your name?"

"You may, but I probably won't answer."

Ouch. This lady was one cold mama. Roy quickly recovered and said, "Why so antagonistic? Don't you trust me?"

"My aunts told me never to trust a stranger." Riza answered. "And you're about as strange as they come."

Double ouch. This chick just didn't let up. "Well, why don't I meet these aunts of yours and let them get to know me. That way, we won't be strangers and we could spend a little time together before I have to return home on some unrelated business."

Riza thought about it and smiled. Her aunts would get set this guy right, she was sure of that. Roy saw the smile and his hopes were raised. She said, very clearly, "Alright. I live in a cottage about six miles south of here. Along this very path. All I ask is that you wait a few hours before you come. It's my birthday you see and I'm sure my aunts are getting everything ready."

Roy thought about it. He didn't have to be at the castle until midnight and it would only take a few minutes to get changed into his wedding clothes, so he said, "Great. I'll be there."

Riza smiled and continued on her way leaving Roy feeling pretty good about the whole deal. Meanwhile, back at the cottage, the three Fairies were having one hell of a time trying to get everything ready before Riza returned. Unfortunately, Al couldn't cook nor did he have a creative mind when it came to decorations, Izumi couldn't sew worth beans, and Ed wouldn't stop moving around in the monstrosity that Izumi assured them was a dress. Al, covered in flour, pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes and bent over the cook book, rereading the last part of the recipe. He then looked at the cake and compared pictures. He sighed and said, "You know, I don't think the cake's supposed to be gray."

Izumi, with several pins in her mouth, glanced at the cake and said, in a rather muffled voice, "It'll be fine once you put the icing on."

Al, looking baleful, said, "I already did ice it!"

Ed managed to pull his head out of the layers of ruffles around the neck to say, "This isn't working! This is going to be the worst party ever if we don't use our magic!"

Izumi slapped his head to get him to hold still and pinned a few flowers onto the shoulders. Once all the pins were in the "dress" she said, "Alright! It's done!"

Ed stepped off of the stool, tried to walk, tripped over the hem of the dress and fell over. Instantly the whole thing practically exploded, showering the room in different fabrics, fake flowers, and pins. Al only just managed to dive behind the counter to avoid getting stuck with hundreds of the flying menaces. A quivering lump moved under the piles of fabric which eventually revealed itself to be Ed. He gasped and yelled, "See what I mean?!?!?"

Izumi sighed and looked around the room. "Maybe you're right." She conceded. "But we're going to do this right! Lock all the doors, close all the windows, block up every nook and cranny, don't let a single spot be left that one of Dante's spies could see through."

Izumi and Al quickly did this while Ed ran up to Izumi's room, she got her own while he and Al shared, and grabbed the bag of magic that was hidden in a secret compartment in Izumi's wardrobe. He pulled out his blue orb and pressed it against his chest. Instantly, the orb entered him and he felt his magic reconnect. He ran the bag back downstairs and tossed the other orbs to Izumi and Al. They each caught their own and absorbed them. With that done, Izumi said, "Alright, now Al will make the cake and decorations, I will make the dress, and Ed will clean this place up. Get to it!"

Ed sullenly clapped his hands and touched a broom, dust pan, mop, bucket, and feather duster. As his fingers touched each one a spark of blue light leapt into said object and began to move around the room, doing their appropriate jobs. The broom swept, the bucket filled itself with water, the mop skated across the floor after the broom and dustpan while the feather duster floated elegantly all around the room. Izumi clapped her hands and touched her favorite bits of fabric each one floating into the air and forming into a dress under Izumi's hands. Al, meanwhile, had brought all the different ingredients and utensils to life before setting out the book for them to follow, since he himself was useless when it came to cooking. As Ed was redirecting the broom, which had been attempting to sweep the back porch which had already been mopped, he noticed the dress Izumi was making, while elegant and beautiful, was a horrific shade of red! He clapped his hands and put them on the floor. Blue sparks leapt across the floor and jumped onto the dress, filling it with a light blue color, like a clear summer sky. Izumi frowned and said, "Stop messing with my dress Ed!"

She clapped her hands and turned it back to red. Ed, incensed, clapped his hands and turned it back to blue. Izumi, getting annoyed now, turned it back to red. Ed, leaving the broom to its own devices, attempted to change the dress back to blue but a stray spark hit Izumi turning her own dress blue.

"Oh that does it!" She yelled, clapping her hands and turning Ed's dress red.

"So that's the way you want to play is it?" Ed said, angrily clapping his hands.

Izumi and Ed continuously clapped their hands, slamming them against various objects, turning each other's clothes different colors, until flashes of light and sparks were dancing all around the room. Unfortunately, they also jumped up the fireplace so brightly colored puffs of soot were erupting from the chimney, attracting a certain raven's attention. Envy swooped down and landed on a windowsill, peering in between a gap in the curtains. His eyes widened as he saw the three Fairies inside, performing the most magic he had seen done in sixteen years. Even Dante didn't use magic for simple things like cooking and cleaning. Of course, she usually forced Sloth to do all the work. He laughed evilly to himself and flew away, back toward Dante's mansion to tell her the good news.

Back inside the cottage, Ed and Izumi both attacked the dress at the same time with a color spell and the entire dress became a sordid dual colored mess. Izumi turned to Ed and said, "Now look at what you've done!"

"What I've done?" Ed yelled back. "This is all your fault!"

As they continued arguing, Al said, "Did you hear something?"

The other two Fairies stopped fighting and listened. They heard footsteps coming up the path. Riza was back! Quick as they could, they stopped all the magic, fixed the dress (red), and hid, waiting to surprise Riza. At the last second, Ed noticed the red dress and turned it blue. The door opened and Riza entered, looking around. The three Fairies jumped out and shouted, "Surprise!"

Acting on instinct, Riza fired three shots at Ed. Ed yelled and threw himself to the ground, covering his head. Riza realized her mistake and said, "Oh! I'm sorry Aunt Edna!"

"That's alright…" Ed said, returning shakily to his feet.

Riza looked around at all the decorations, streamers and balloons and confetti covered every surface, and at the cake and dress. She didn't normally wear dresses, but she didn't want to seem ungrateful so she smiled and said, "Thank you for doing all this for me."

"It's the least we could do." Izumi said.

"So, how was your walk?" Al asked, cutting up pieces of cake after Riza blew out the candles.

"Well, I saw a strange man in the woods who was stalking me." She said, accepting the plate of cake Al was offering her.

The three Fairies glanced at each other. Izumi, taking a piece for herself, said, "Oh? And what did you think of him?"

"Not much." Riza said, for which all the Fairies were relieved to hear. "Though there was something about him. He acted a little lecherous and self centered, but I felt that there was something more underneath all that. I'm not sure what it was…In any case, he's coming over here in a few hours to meet you."

That was the last straw. Izumi nodded to Ed and Al and said, "Riza, you can't see this man again."

Riza looked surprised and said, "Why not?"

Ed continued, "Because you're already betrothed to be married to a prince!"

Riza raised an eyebrow and said, "Are you joking?"

Al shook his head and said, "It may be hard to imagine, but we're not your Aunts. Ed and I aren't even girls!"

"What we are," Izumi said, changing her clothes back to normal, "Are Fairies. We needed to keep you safe for sixteen years to avoid a curse set on you by Dante the Black Fairy. We're going back to the castle tonight. In fact, with this man coming here it would probably be better if we left as soon as possible. Go and pack your things and get ready to leave. Make sure you wear the dress we made you."

Riza, confused by all this information, walked up to her room and packed everything. It didn't take long, filling only a small satchel. Once she was back down in the living room of the cottage, Al fastened a shawl around her head as a disguise. Ed had gathered all their belongings inside a small suitcase and was carrying it while Izumi looked around, making sure the coast was clear. She nodded when she was sure it was safe and they all started to walk towards the castle.

To Be Continued…

There will only be one more part after this, then I'll have to take a little bit off to try and think of a new story. I may come back to do more Twisted Fairy Tales if the mood grabs me. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to review!


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